EURJPY

Big-shot traders are doubling down on ETH longs, like a gambler on his fifth martini. 🍸 Meanwhile, the rest of the market is still in therapy over risk. 😰

According to a press release dated checks notes November 21, 2025 (yes, the future is here, and it’s still confusing), this integration is live and kicking for all KYC-verified users. So, if you’ve got the paperwork, you’ve got the power. 📜🔓

Meet Bitmain Technologies, hailing from the grand city of Beijing – a place famous for dumplings, dragons, and now… espionage accusations? Yep, the U.S. government has put on its detective hat and started poking around their shiny rigs, wondering if they’re secretly reporting back to China like some digital double agents. 🤖🔍

In a blog post dripping with corporate enthusiasm, Coinbase declared this acquisition as another step toward its utopian vision: “making it easy for anyone, anywhere, to trade any crypto asset.” Noble words, indeed! Though the price tag remains a secret, one can only imagine the coffers of Vector’s creators swelling like a balloon at a child’s birthday party. 🎈

There it sits, our XRP, at $1.946, down 8.16% in 24 hours, with a trading volume of $9.6 billion. A pullback, they call it-a polite term for a slap in the face. Right on the $1.90 support, a level so sacred it’s practically a shrine. For years, this line has been XRP’s crutch, its last stand against the abyss. Will it hold? Or will it crumble like a stale bread crust? 🍞💔

Altcoin season? More like “altcoin hallucination season.” Only 5% in profit? Sounds like a great time to join the party! 🎉

Rewind, if you will, to the fateful Friday past, when the world was already awash in the tears of investors. Bitcoin, once the darling of the crypto sphere, had lost its grip on the $100,000 summit, tumbling below $95,000-a level not seen since the halcyon days of late April. The bears, those voracious beasts of the market, had taken control, driving the price southward with relentless ferocity. 🌪️🐻

Financial particulars remain as mysterious as a Regency ball, but it’s expected to conclude before the clock strikes midnight-er, the end of the year, as they say, with a vague blog post offering little in the way of detail. 🕰️

“Decentralization,” he intoned, his voice trembling with the weight of a thousand ledger entries, “is not a toy to be snatched by the hands of institutional greed.” For Buterin, the rise of ETFs-those gilded cages of Wall Street-was not merely a market trend but a harbinger of doom. 🦈💰

Yes, you read that right. Should the price of BTC hold steady (which is basically like waiting for a pizza delivery on a Sunday night), this strategy claims it could coast along happily without breaking a sweat. We assume this means they’re unphased by the current chaos of the flagship cryptocurrency-whose price is definitely as stable as a trampoline in a tornado.