Well, let’s just say the deal fortifies ETHZilla’s balance sheet as though it were a castle under siege. This newly minted capital joins millions in Ethereum, cash, U.S. Treasuries, protocol tokens, and shares. The company seems to be swimming in assets, and oh, how deliciously reassuring that is!
Bolivia, a land where currency controls once choked the air like a poorly-tied cravat, now finds its citizens whispering sweet nothings to stablecoins. Why, you ask? Because when your fiat currency waltzes with inflation like it’s a tango partner, a dollar-pegged token starts looking as appealing as a cold martini at a desert soiree. 🍸
Wall Street, that grand hall of dusty money wizards, has been as committed to crypto as a cat to a bath. But now, Morgan Stanley is throwing its hat into the ring, partnering with a digital asset “wizard” named Zerohash. Let’s just hope they don’t turn our savings into digital confetti. 🎉
This new marvel allows users to earn Bitcoin on every purchase, a feat akin to finding gold in your coffee ☕. Fold promises up to 3.5% back in Bitcoin, with 2% instantly and 1.5% more if you play nice with their checking account. A limited-time offer, of course, because greed must be tempered by corporate ethics. 🤷♂️
Now, out of those 203, they’ve already frozen or taken crypto from 161 individuals, and the recovered loot? Oh, about 1.5 billion won-or $1.1 million for those of you not keeping score in Korean won. Pretty decent haul for a bunch of tax dodgers, eh? 💸
BlackRock has stealthily built its crypto empire!👇
In less than 2 years, their Bitcoin and Ethereum ETFs are bringing in over $260M a year. Who knew crypto could be so lucrative, right?
🔸 $218M from Bitcoin
🔸 $42M from Ethereum
A quarter-billion-dollar operation, almost overnight. Meanwhile, other companies are still figuring out how to make their first million…
Observe, dear reader, the curious spectacle of ETFs and ETPs pouring a horde of $127 million into Solana over the past week. Fifteen merciless weeks of positive flows-like some eternal Sisyphus pushing a boulder of capital uphill-have pressed total assets under management to a towering $4.3 billion. Are these institutional titans truly the saviors of Solana, or simply shadowy puppeteers tightening their grip on a restless beast? The broader crypto inferno may flicker and falter, but these products ensure the flame of Solana’s price flickers stoutly on the altar of investor fancy.
This 24/7 off-ramp is so regulated, it’s like a bank but with more blockchain and fewer tellers. 🏦✨
Ethereum, our once proud stallion, led the mad dash to the exit with roughly nine hundred million dollars liquidated-momentarily outrunning Bitcoin, as if to say, “I can fall faster too!”
According to Bubblemaps’ X announcement, this isn’t just some digital scribbling; it’s meant to be the “Wikipedia of investigations.” Here, evidence is etched into eternity, impact is ranked like a bad joke at a party, and the community is the judge, jury, and executioner. Contributors dig up receipts, earn street cred, and track threats that slither cross-chain – like open-source gumshoes with a knack for sniffing out trouble in the dark. 🔎🔥
