Bloomberg’s Mike McGlone, that sage of macrostrategy, observed the scene with the detached concern of a man watching a pot boil. “Too calm,” he mused, “as if the world forgot how to panic.” The silence, he warned, was a prelude to a symphony of volatility. Bitcoin, usually a tempest in a digital teacup, now dawdled like a bored schoolboy. “This is not strength,” he declared, “but the quiet before the storm… or perhaps a nap.”
On November 7, like a mole emerging from underground archives, JPMorgan submitted its quarterly 13F to the SEC. These reports-dry as Siberian steppe dust-list what Wall Street’s finest are hoarding while the rest of us pray for bread. And lo and behold, nestled between bonds and dubious derivatives, was 1,974,144 shares of Bitmine, worth $102 million as of September 30. No announcement, no press release, just cold, hard paperwork. The kind of move that says: “We’re in, but don’t tell Mother or she’ll confiscate our credit cards.” 💳❄️
Our esteemed friends at Elliott Waves Academy, those tireless interpreters of market melodrama, suggest that DOT’s recent descent may be nearing its final act. The downtrend, much like a bad actor’s soliloquy, appears to be running out of steam-at least for now. Could a short-term encore be in the cards?
Solana (SOL), that curious blend of technology and chaos that only crypto enthusiasts appreciate, is suddenly the belle of the ball. Institutional investors have thrown their hats into the ring, with ETF inflows pushing past a staggering $323 million in just the last week. Who would’ve thought these sober, buttoned-up types would get swept up in the cryptocurrency frenzy? Apparently, they’re increasingly confident in Solana’s price-much to the bane of their risk-averse relatives. 💸
The Bollinger Bands, that most fashionable of indicators, alongside the MFI and AD, suggest a breakout may indeed be imminent-provided, of course, that buyers do not lose their nerve like a debutante at her first ball. 🎪
Dogecoin price outperforms top 10 cryptocurrencies on Nov. 7, 2025 | Source: Coingecko
In case you’re wondering, this report surveyed 122 hedge fund managers who collectively control a whopping $982 billion in assets. That’s a 17% year-over-year surge in crypto adoption. Looks like the mainstream finance world is finally starting to acknowledge that digital assets are here to stay… at least for now.
My First Bitcoin, the once-local Bitcoin education initiative sprouted in the vibrant, sun-kissed soil of El Salvador, has now dramatically cut ties with the country’s Ministry of Education. What’s the next big move, you ask? Oh, just a little pivot to global Bitcoin education. No biggie.
Ah, the siren song of DeFi yields! 🦜 A tantalizing 200% APY, you say? Sounds like a wizard’s promise in a world of boring 2% savings accounts. But hold your horses-or rather, your crypto wallets-because the numbers have a nasty habit of telling the truth. 🧮 And the truth is, half of retail investors end up with less gold in their pockets than they started with. Why? Because the math is a harsh mistress, and hidden costs are like the Discworld’s Auditors: they show up when you least expect them and take what’s yours. 💸
According to these so-called “experts,” the Z-Score is at 0.87, which is basically the financial equivalent of a shrug. Meanwhile, the USDT Z-Score has hit 3.87, a number so high it’s probably plotting a coup with the stablecoin. The Relative Z-Score is also playing the field at 3.0, because why settle for one drama when you can have two?
