Scandal! Hut 8’s Power Grab Sparks Frenzy—Secret Deals, Lawsuits, and Bitcoin Blunders!

Hut 8 shall receive, for the opening year, a payment of some CADA $530 per megawatt per business day! (Truly, it pays to have powerful friends—or at least to supply them with power.) With inflation lurking backstage, who knows how large the purse may swell? Our heroes thus leap from seasonal flirtations to the embrace of a long-term, government-stamped suitor, whose reliability soothes even the most anxious treasurer. What stability! What repose! What… suspicious good fortune? 🤔

PI Network: The Drama of a Sideways Romance

As the market whispers tales of relative calm, PI’s price has been engaged in a rather tedious dance of consolidation. One can only speculate where this enigmatic token might decide to take us next. 🕵️‍♂️

Wilde’s Take on Crypto: XRP, Binance, and BTC in July

Despite its daily decline of around 2.5%, the XRP price is up 6% on a weekly scale, and the air is thick with bullish predictions. Just a few days ago, the X user World of Charts argued that an XRP breakout and retest has already been confirmed, anticipating a pump above $3 sometime in July. For their part, Maxi thinks the token could mirror its impressive performance from the end of 2017 and experience a 1,200% rise in a matter of days. A jump of that type would push the price to a new historic peak of around $30, which, as of the moment, seems as likely as a teetotaler at a Bacchanal.

Bots: The Secret XRP Puppeteers? 🤖

However, as the real demand for XRP from retail and institutional investors continues to grow, the influence of these automated trading bots may become as passé as last season’s couture.

Fed to Crypto: Drop Dead 🤑

This seismic shift, precipitated by a jobs report that defied the expectations of the pundit class, has sent shockwaves through the crypto market. The tantalizing prospect of lower interest rates, that great siren song of investors, has been all but extinguished.

Crypto, Code & Catastrophe? Tornado Cash’s Roman Storm Faces Off With the Feds

Roman, however, appears to be swapping existential panic for a cool blend of denial and dry humor worthy of any brunch table. In a recent (likely slightly awkward) chat with Crypto in America, he basically said: “Um, hi, government? You’re prosecuting me for writing code. Literally, just typing things into a laptop. Not for, you know, any actual crimes.” 👨‍💻🤷‍♂️