EURJPY

Brandt, in his infinite sagacity, observes that Bitcoin is currently on an eight-day descent, not merely by chance but as if orchestrated by a cabal of financial wizards. We find ourselves at the crossroads of two critical price levels: the already-vanquished $70,000 and the foreboding target of $63,800. This latter figure sounds like a precise measurement from a medieval siege engine, doesn’t it? With more than $850 million evaporated from the market-poof!-and fear metrics collapsing like a house of cards, one must wonder if this dip is just a dip or a full-blown plunge into the abyss.

Mark Dow: I Want Bitcoin to Go to Zero

Key support levels: $0.15

He reminded the room-quite softly, as one might remind a cat that has knocked over the vase-that the government’s reach stops at the statute book and at the pen, not at the tender mercies of volatile markets.

we want the receipts, the emails, and the occasional dramatic memo that explains it all away.

In a Wednesday release, Opinion declared a stylish $20 million raised in a pre-Series A round. Hack VC and Jump Crypto led the chorus, with Primitive Ventures and Decasonic tagging along. It’s not a disaster in disguise but a genteel flutter of cash in the cryptosphere, which pretends it’s all very capacious and not at all combustible.

In the company’s Q4 2025 USD₮ Market Report-a document as dry as a Martian desert but no less fascinating-we learn that Tether has added 35 million users in a single quarter. Eight consecutive quarters of such growth! One might almost suspect they are handing out USDT like confetti at a carnival, though the metaphor is perhaps too festive for this dour financial context.

According to the wise sages at Coingecko, Binance held a whopping 39% market share in 2025. Bybit, the plucky underdog, trailed behind with a mere 8%. That’s like comparing a dragon to a slightly damp newt. And Coinbase? Well, they’re sixth. Sixth! That’s not even a silver medal; it’s more like a participation trophy made of soggy cardboard.

Solana couldn’t stay perched above $105 and slid again, joining Bitcoin and Ethereum in the mood to decline. It dropped below the $100 and $95 support levels.

In the Asian hours of Thursday, Bitcoin slid below the sacred $71,000 as a renewed rout in global technology stocks poured into crypto markets, undercutting hopes of a lasting rebound after last week’s volatility.