EURJPY

According to the sage cryptanalyst Ali (@ali_charts), the noble $3,900 remains a steadfast support-more reliable than Mr. Bingley’s good opinion-on which Ethereum’s fortunes may quite possibly hinge. Should this level hold, as Ali ardently hopes, then perhaps-and only perhaps-ETH might indulge in a gallant rally toward the lofty sums of $5,000, or daringly, even $6,000! One cannot help but think, with a smirk, that the journey is as romantic as Miss Elizabeth’s refusal of Mr. Collins’s proposal.

Oh, a delightful courtroom drama unfolds with sentencing scheduled for Qian and her partner-in-crime, Ling, on 10-11 November. Naturally, the whole show will wrap up with a civil recovery and compensation order. How thrilling!

Ah, the CME, with its $28.3 billion in futures open interest, hath surpassed the mighty Binance’s $23 billion and Bybit’s paltry $12.2 billion. A triumph, or so they say! 🎉

VanEck’s Matthew Sigel, a man who clearly enjoys confusing stock markets for sport, claims this deal is a golden goose for Bitcoin miners. Why? Because apparently, hosting AI computers pays better than mining digital gold. Who knew?

EUROD is among the first stablecoins issued by a regulated European bank and is designed to combine the reliability of traditional banking with the transparency and speed of blockchain technology. According to ODDO BHF, the token offers “24/7 transferability, euro liquidity, and institutional-grade governance” to ensure compliance and security across its operations. If only my sock drawer had this level of organization.

Meanwhile, the bigwigs in their corner offices are going hog wild for Bitcoin! According to the wise folks at Bitwise, 72 companies are hoarding over 1 million BTC-that’s $117 billion worth of digital gold, baby! 💼💰 These corporate fat cats, ETFs, and investment gurus are treating Bitcoin like the prom queen of assets, even when the market’s acting like a drama queen. 🎭

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Mayor Eric Adams, ever the visionary, has birthed a new bureaucratic beast: the Office of Digital Assets and Blockchain Technology. A final flourish in his tenure? Perhaps. Or maybe he’s just trying to outwit Wall Street’s old guard before his time runs out. Either way, New York now boasts a blockchain office like it’s 1929 and he’s betting on the next stock market crash. 🚀

So there I was, sipping my coffee, minding my own business, when suddenly BlackRock’s iShares Bitcoin Trust decides to go all Gabriela Sabatini on the finance world and breaches the $100B AUM mark. Boom – institutional crypto adoption, they call it, but I call it a bunch of suits finally texting emojis instead of banning them. Am I right?

Wall Street’s Benchmark decided to throw confetti on CompoSecure (CMPO) and call it a “buy.” Why? Because their crypto wallet unit, Arculus, upgraded from “basic safe” to “Wall Street’s new favorite toy.” Classic.