AB/USD

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Is Bitcoin About to Make Millionaires or Merely Expensive Espresso?

Friday, that day of financial judgement, promises to be a veritable circus. According to the ever-persuasive Jean-David Péquignot at Deribit, $40 billion worth of BTC options are up for expiry, 38% of them teetering on the brink, like debutantes at their first disappointing dance. “Max pain” — that most deliciously sadistic phrase — is set at $102,000. And what, pray tell, is the put/call ratio? A dainty 0.73. What does it mean? Certainly everything, and definitely nothing!

Crypto Guru Predicts Bitcoin Will Make You Filthy Rich or Absolutely Miserable

This week, Dr. Cat unleashed his summer forecast, which is either an invitation to buy an island or burn your wallet for warmth. “If BTC hits a daily high between June 25-27, but it’s a lower high—a lower low should follow,” he proclaimed, as if reading constellations on a Ouija board. Basically, if Bitcoin doesn’t outshine its mediocre cousin from last week, it might just swan-dive into darkness until you start drinking iced coffee out of a shoe.

Dogecoin Dances On A Knife-Edge: Bulls Celebrate, Bears Lurk, One Button Ruins All?

In his latest fireside pronouncement, the venerable Kevin (known in less exclusive circles as @Kev_Capital_TA) stitched together a tapestry of impressive-sounding technical gibberish, noting that the Shiba Inu’s finest squiggle, having bounced valourously from the $0.14 dog park, now balances on the very nose of Fate: the weekly 200 SMA, the weekly 200 EMA, and—one for the numerically inclined—the macro 0.382 Fib. “Make-or-break,” says Kevin. Call me old-fashioned, but isn’t this always the case with Dogecoin?

PI Shoots Up 16% As Crypto Drama Unfolds: Bitcoin Gets Jealous At $107K

Bitcoin Price Chart

Elsewhere across this grand digital masquerade, lesser coins (one hesitates to call them ‘altcoins’, as if they’re a class of mushrooms) are basking in their own reflected glory. Notably, Ethereum has rather smugly ascended above $2,400, which coincidentally is enough to pay for a year’s supply of witty Twitter bots. Bravo, Ether!