It was then that our chronicler, Whale Alert—an entity as mysterious and inscrutable as any Russian nobleman in a cherry orchard—discreetly informed the world of a hulking presence: a whale, shrouded in digital mist, dispatching an opulent sum of 586,233 SOL (a tidy $88,985,275, for those still counting kopeks) to the American exchange, Coinbase.
Trading volume is getting jiggy with it, rising alongside the price like a perfectly choreographed dance routine. At the time of writing, Floki’s trading at approximately $0.00008615, following a sharp daily upswing that’s got everyone screaming, “I’m rich! I’m rich!” 🤑
Meanwhile, Core Scientific’s shares, like quixotic lovers spurned, have tumbled 18% to lounge listlessly at $14.75—in contrast to CoreWeave, down a paltry 5%, still faintly blushing after running a marathon since IPO (295% up, but who’s counting—besides everyone).
In a recent YouTube video, the esteemed Benjamin Cowen shared his thoughts with his 904,000 disciples, warning that a Bitcoin price dip below the 50-week simple moving average (SMA) on the weekly timeframe may signal the end of the bull cycle. Ah, the horror! 😱
The signs are clear, like a cow’s backside on a clear day—those technical indicators are standing on their tippy toes, shouting about the demand from spot traders. They say this could lead to quite the cheerful romp in the market ahead. Now, let us regale you with the details.
The mighty leap (if one can “leap” by a hair’s breadth) is all part of that illustrious “pre-launch” ballet—beginning with the sonorous clang of April 1. Since then, pre-sales, post-sales, and everything-in-between-sales have swept up a hoard worthy of a particularly ambitious sled dog pack: $813,896. That’s correct, dear reader, the pups have pulled past $800k, presumably pausing only for celebratory kibble.
In a sweeping analysis of Bitcoin’s adoption path, Alden highlights its transition from a niche experiment to what she calls “portable capital.” Unlike fiat currencies or even gold, Bitcoin offers a unique combination of liquidity, divisibility, and sovereignty—all without relying on centralized infrastructure. It’s like having a digital piggy bank that no one can touch, not even your nosy roommate.
However, the business intelligence giant, never one to be outdone by a mere pause, made up for it with some staggering financial news: it raked in more than $14 billion in unrealized gains in the second quarter of 2025. A sum so large, it could buy a small country—or at least a very large yacht. 🛥️
Meanwhile, XRP is like the kid who got left behind on the school bus, only up 0.59% to $2.28. XLM and XRP have always been like the dynamic duo of cross-border payments, but it looks like XLM is the one with the actual cape today. 🦸♂️
According to the latest announcement, Binance is expanding its Monitoring Tag to include more tokens. The unlucky trio this time? BakeryToken (BAKE), IDEX (IDEX), and Self Chain (SLF). These tokens are about to get a lot of attention, and not in the good way. 🕵️♀️
