Google Cloud & Midnight: A ZK Love Story 💼🔐

Midnight 🤝 @googlecloud

The @midnightfdn, in a move so bold it could make a Victorian gasp, is now twirling with Google Cloud to “accelerate privacy-first infrastructure.” Because nothing says “trust” like handing your secrets to a company that once thought “don’t be evil” was a suggestion. 🕶️✨

Google Cloud will:…

🇪🇺 ECB’s Stablecoin Ban: A Euro-Sized Headache for US Firms? 😱

Whispers from the corridors of power, as reported by the ever-vigilant Bloomberg, reveal that this idea sprouted from the fertile minds of the European Systemic Risk Board (ESRB). Last week, they proposed to ban these “multi-issuance” stablecoins, a term as cumbersome as the regulation itself. Though not yet law, the suggestion has been nodded to by the grandees of banking and the mandarins of the EU. Local authorities, it seems, are now faced with a choice: to ban or to explain. A choice, one might add, as pleasant as choosing between a rock and a hard place. 🪨🌍

IoTeX’s AI Foundry: Robots Learn to Be Less Dull 😏

The global initiative aims to define shared standards for artificial intelligence grounded in live, verifiable data. Grounded? How pedestrian. One would think AI could at least pretend to float on clouds of data for a while before crashing back to Earth.

Blockchain Wizardry or Financial Farce? 🎩💻UBS & Chainlink’s Token Tango Shakes Wall Street!

According to Chainlink’s manifesto, UBS’s systems dutifully spat out ISO 20022-compliant messages into the SWIFT void, where CRE transformed them into on-chain “instructions.” These commands, like digital homunculi, now birth or destroy tokens in smart contracts, sparing institutions the indignity of updating their 1980s-era key management systems. A triumph of convenience, or a surrender to inertia? 🤷‍♂️

Turkey’s Crypto Crackdown: Banning Wallets and Rented Accounts!

Turkey is preparing to expand the powers of its Financial Crimes Investigation Board (Masak) to freeze and restrict access to bank and crypto accounts, part of a broader effort to combat money laundering and financial crime. The government plans to introduce the proposed measures in the 11th judicial reform package. However, it has not announced a specific timeline. 🎩💰