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Crypto Jon, ever the alchemist, points to a trove of coins priced below $1-tokens of potential, if one dares to wager on the future. Among them:

The main spectacle, orchestrated by the ringmasters at BlockOn Ventures and Web3preneur, unfolds on September 25 and 26, 2025, at the opulent JW Marriott and Welcomhotel by ITC Hotels in Aerocity. The timing, as cunning as a street vendor’s haggle, coincides with the much-anticipated ETHGlobal Delhi Week, creating a whirlwind of talent and capital that could make even the most stoic bureaucrat blush.

Year-to-date, gold has ascended 39%, a respectable climb, while Bitcoin trails at 19%. But ah, the folly of judging by fleeting gains! History, that implacable judge, suggests Bitcoin’s true mettle lies in its risk-adjusted performance. In the frenzied bull market of 2017, Bitcoin soared 1,300%, its Sharpe ratio a robust 1.4, while gold, with its modest 13% gain, could muster only a 0.8. And in 2020, as the world teetered on the brink, Bitcoin climbed 214%, its Sortino ratio exceeding 3.0, a testament to its resilience in the face of adversity. Gold, ever steady, managed a mere 7%, its Sortino ratio languishing below 1.5.

The proposal, a masterclass in balancing investor protection with the thrilling pursuit of innovation, threatens to slap non-compliant platforms with fines so hefty they could buy a small island 🌴. Low-risk operators, however, might slip through the net-if they’re nimble enough to exploit exemptions.

In a missive on the modern-day oracle, X, the on-chain soothsayers at Glassnode have unraveled the latest twist in the saga of Bitcoin spot ETFs. These financial contraptions, you see, allow the uninitiated to dabble in the crypto cauldron without the bother of wallets or exchanges. A convenient illusion, no? 🎩✨

The enigmatic minds behind Pi Network took to their official X account to proclaim a scheduled upgrade on this fateful day (September 25). Lo and behold, sign-ins and sign-ups shall be temporarily shackled during this mystical process. 🕊️

The crypto sages, those modern-day prophets, debated in hushed tones, their scrolls of charts and graphs trembling. Some cried “bear trap!” as if the market were a trickster fox, while others muttered about the fragility of DeFi, that sacred grove of promises now trembling under the weight of hubris.

Crypto developer Zak Cole, that paragon of digital vigilance, revealed on X that this campaign leverages X’s own infrastructure with the enthusiasm of a society host at a charity gala. “Zero detection. Active right now. Full account takeover,” he declared, as if announcing the latest scandal at a Mayfair soiree.

ASTER, that BNB Chain prodigy, has surged 2200% in a week, its price soaring like a kite in a hurricane. Meanwhile, HYPE, once the belle of the blockchain ball, has tumbled 26%, a victim of its own hubris. Wynn, ever the prophet of doom, credits Binance’s CZ with bolstering Aster’s credibility, as if the mere mention of a name could conjure wealth from the void.

According to the proposal, crypto operators will now need an Australian Financial Services License (AFSL). 🎟️ Yes, the same one your grandma’s bank has. Because why should crypto be special? It’s not like it’s revolutionizing finance or anything. 🙄 They’ll also have to play by the same rules as traditional financial institutions, because nothing screams “progress” like treating a decentralized system like a 1950s bank. 🏦