Ah, what a “golden” opportunity-if you have the patience of Job or the recklessness of a madman-to farm these fleeting tokens. But beware: the market’s patience is thinner than a paper saint, and risk lurks in every shadow, ready to expose the hubris of those who dare dream of easy riches. The hour of reckoning approaches, cloaked in the guise of innovation, yet riddled with the dark fingerprints of desperation.
Their vault now brims with 25,555 BTC, amassed at the bargain-bin cost of $2.71 billion (average $106,065/BTC, for the mathematically inclined 🧮). And lo! Their “year-to-date BTC yield” swells to a comical 395.1% in 2025. A performance so stellar, even the gods of Wall Street might blush! 😏
Astute traders, sharpen your monocles and take note of these economic missives, lest your portfolios resemble a derelict stately home.
In the nocturnal hours, the market shuddered as Dogecoin carved paths through bastions of buyers and erected new redoubts. As it circled like an anxious cat at $0.25, the traders debated its next move-rebound, or plummet once more?
Meanwhile, all three US stock indices hit new all-time highs last Friday. Yeah, because apparently optimism around Fed rate cuts and tech is contagious-just like my neighbor’s weird cough but in a good way. And hey, throw in some friendly US-China trade chit-chat, and boom, everyone’s suddenly feeling positive. Kind of like a group hug but for money.
On the 21st of September, someone tooted loudly at the start of the U.S.’s very first XRP ETF circus. And oh heavens, did it attract a crowd, snapping up $37.7 million on its debut. Meanwhile, over in Central Reserve Frat House, the lads were whispering sweet nothings about a rate cut that might be music to digital assets’ ears. Despite all the buzz, Johnny Analyst warned of a tug-o’-war, with a stubborn ceiling hanging around $3.00 like a tightrope walker refusing to shimmy away.
Toyota, BYD, Yamaha accepting USDT in Bolivia
“Tu vehiculo en dolares digital”
USDT, the digital dollar seducing the serendipitous millions in emerging markets. Ubiquity, they call it. 🤔❓
Apparently, Bloomberg reported on Friday that Noah Urban, an honorary member of the notorious hacking group Scattered Spider (who clearly has too much free time), alleged that the group “phished” their way into one of Crypto.com’s employee accounts back in early 2023. This little escapade exposed some user information. You know, just the usual “oopsie” moment for a billion-dollar company.
According to the fellow that sparked the fires of BitMEX, the Uncle Sam’s Treasury General Account (TGA) is filling up like a Thanksgiving turkey, and soon it’ll be squawking louder than a guffaw. This lad thinks the Treasury’s prodigious piggy bank – already tipping the scales at $807 billion, aims for a whopping $850 billion – is the worm that’ll wiggle the snake that is the crypto market out from under the bed. 🎯
Paolo Ardoino, the CEO of Tether, casually announced that Toyota, Yamaha, and BYD had joined the crypto bandwagon on a relaxed Sunday. The first vehicle transaction using USDT was confirmed by crypto security firm BitGo, which documented a Toyota sale in Bolivia on Saturday. The dealership, naturally, flaunted signs calling USDT an “easy, fast, and safe” way to purchase a car. I mean, who wouldn’t want to trade a few virtual tokens for a shiny new ride, right? 🏎️✨
