EURJPY

Enter Brad Setser, a senior fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations-yes, one of those solemn wizards who conjure doom and destiny from balance sheets-and Teresa Alves of Goldman Sachs, whose forecasts are nearly as reliable as death, taxes, and that one cousin who always brings kale to a barbecue. Both, in their infinite spreadsheet-driven wisdom, now testify that the yuan is not merely neglected, but dramatically underpriced against the mighty dollar. Imagine! A currency undervalued! Next, you’ll tell me my copy of Lolita is underappreciated at yard sales. 📚💔

The FSC has crafted new guidelines for listed corporations and professional investors, which are expected to be finalized by February. Because, of course, they want to make sure everyone has plenty of time to get their crypto ducks in a row 📝.

Yet, let us not forget its grand entrance! From the dawn of the year to the 4th of January, this digital trinket soared 80.15%-a height even Lady Macbeth might envy. Alas, such prodigious ascent hath been met with a most reasonable 18.32% retraction. How droll.

Apparently, it’s not enough to just…exist and want to trade digital currency. Nope. They need live biometric data, your location like they’re tracking you for a Netflix true crime doc, and proof your bank account is actually yours. It’s honestly more commitment than some relationships. 🤦‍♀️

XRP price failed to stay above $2.20, because who needs stability, anyway? 😂 It declined, and then it spiked below $2.050, because why not? 🤷‍♀️

This Act, you see, has been gestating for years, slowly, like a particularly stubborn bureaucracy. Lawmakers and those in the industry, who-let’s be honest-have a vested interest in… well, things being clearer for them, have been pushing for these “clearer rules.” Until now, the U.S. has mostly relied on simply scolding offenders after the fact. Rather than preventing the mess, they mop it up. Such efficiency.

Binance founder Changpeng Zhao – and you know how these founders are, always with the pronouncements – just tweeted, on X, of course (where else?), that maybe, just maybe, things are looking up for crypto. Apparently, the SEC is backing off a little bit. A little! Like that’s gonna solve everything. It was January 10th, 2026 in case you were wondering about the post date. Keeps things precise.

So, Santiment’s all like, “Ethereum’s social media vibe is giving major déjà vu to 2025. You know, right before it went from ‘meh’ to ‘OMG.'” 🤑

Two exchanges, Zedcex and Zedxion, masqueraded as separate entities but danced in perfect unison, like Siamese twins sharing a single wallet. Between 2023 and 2025, IRGC-linked transactions accounted for 56% of their total volume. The weapon of choice? Tether (USDT) on the Tron blockchain, a tool as subtle as a sledgehammer yet as efficient as a Swiss watch. Low costs, high liquidity-the perfect escape hatch for the sanctioned soul. 🤑

For most cryptocurrencies-Ah, Bitcoin, that enigmatic titan of the blockchain-the 2018 cycle highs are but a faded inkblot on a parchment. Monero, however, clings to its ATH of $542.33 like a child to a lost balloon. The price tag clings to Jan. 9, 2018, a date that outlived the bull run itself. One imagines XMR whispering, “Remember me?” to a sleeping world.