EURJPY

Enter the Altcoin Season Index, that fascinating concoction that watches the top 100 altcoins like a hawk while keeping Bitcoin’s price as its North Star. Imagine tracking whether these altcoin guinea pigs are finally outperforming the grand old crypto elephant. This seance-like comparison is stretched over 90 days, akin to watching paint dry in slow motion. If enough altcoins-say, at least 75 of the coterie-leapfrog Bitcoin’s price, it’s as good as a green light for an altcoin season. More like a medieval court deciding who gets to sit next to the king, really.

Ethereum’s Price: A Jester’s Gambit

By 7:55 p.m. Sunday evening, as the world braced for a mundane Monday, monero (XMR) was trading at $306 per coin, a sum that would make a Victorian earl faint. The privacy coin, which guards secrets like a butler guards the silver, has risen 6.8% in 24 hours despite its chain being stress-tested by a selfish mining shenanigan that rewrote 18 blocks-along with the poor souls’ transactions trapped inside them.

At the time of writing, South Korea’s price tag doesn’t quite match the global average. According to some super official, super trustworthy archived stats from coinmarketcap.com, bitcoin’s worth is sitting at a staggering $115,514 globally, while Upbit lists it at $115,133. That’s about 0.33% cheaper in Korean won. I mean, it’s not a huge discount, but hey, every little bit helps, right? 💸

Ethereum’s cooking up a privacy roadmap with three shiny new tricks to make sure your digital moves stay… uncaught.

Yet, Casey’s conviction holds firm as the ironwood tree against the biting winter winds. He envisions Bitcoin, the foremost among cryptic tokens, taking the place of gold-yes, the very yellow metal that has glimmered through the ages-as the paramount sanctuary of value. One might muse whether this is wit or folly, or perhaps both, dancing hand in hand like devils at a midsummer’s revelry.

Bitcoin bulls, those eternal dreamers, believe this easing will send Treasury yields tumbling, encouraging risk-taking across the economy. Yet, the world is a complex stage, and outcomes rarely align with expectations. Life, after all, is not a neatly written play. 🎭

Let’s break it down: Cherokee’s bid is hardly subtle. They’ve set up two neat little price ranges. For claims over $100,000, they’re offering between 70% and 75% of the original value, and for claims under $100,000, they’ll drop it to a modest 65% to 70%. How thoughtful! The sellers, in return, get the joy of an immediate cash payout while Cherokee takes on the inconvenience of waiting for distributions. Isn’t that just a delightful arrangement?

TradingView, that oracle of charts and candlesticks, reveals an 11% surge in a single session, propelling the coin to heights not seen since the halcyon days of yore. This lunge has piqued the interest of the masses, all eyes now fixed on the impending DOGE ETF, a financial instrument as inevitable as a Waugh novel’s tragicomic ending. Volume, that fickle mistress, has swollen to a staggering $5 billion, leaving one to wonder: how long shall the charade persist? 🎢💸

The The Information reports-with all the drama of a Dahlian twist-that Polymarket (the golden goose? 🐓) is considering an offer that could plump its valuation to a whopping $9 billion. Meanwhile, poor Kalshi is said to be nibbling at a $5 billion financing. Nibbling, mind you-not gobbling! 🦆 The report, whispered by those mysterious “people familiar with the discussions” (oh, how Dahl would love that!), insists these companies are merely toying with options, not sealing deals. Timelines? Ticket sizes? Hush, hush! 🤫