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The first spark of optimism? A Dogecoin ETF launching in the U.S. on September 11, 2025. The trader calls it a “financial barn dance,” inviting traditional investors to waltz into the memecoin pasture. “Now it’s not just a joke in a chatroom,” they snort. “It’s a stock market staple. You can’t buy a cup of coffee without it.” The ETF, they argue, is the difference between a stray dog and a show dog-suddenly, Dogecoin’s got pedigree.

As September unfolds its drama, the question on everyone’s lips is whether this rally will keep its pep or start wobbling like a three-legged donkey at the races. 🏇💨

Thursday’s ledger reads like a sermon of the modern age: net inflows, $1.7 billion. The ETFs, once shunned like lepers in the financial cathedral, now bask in the glow of renewed faith. Their weekly triumph? The largest in two months, a phoenix rising from the ashes of doubt. 🔥

According to the official proclamation on Binance’s X account (formerly known as Twitter, but who can keep up with these names?), trading shall commence on September 13. Eligible users, those fortunate souls, may claim their token airdrop through the Binance Alpha Points system-a modern-day treasure hunt, if you will. 🗺️✨

Hyperliquid’s [HYPE] has risen by 7.55%, reaching a new all-time high of $57.38-before taking a small nap at $56.68 as we speak. Can it keep the good vibes going? Only time will tell… or will it?

Joseph Lubin, that venerable oracle of Consensys, took to the digital agora of X to confess-rather sheepishly, one suspects-that their grand calculations were but a gentle breeze compared to the Hurricane Linea that swept in. Even triply overprovisioned, the poor engines groaned under twice the expected load, prompting an impromptu deployment of additional forces until calm, or at least something resembling it, was restored.

The digital grapevine, now known as X, buzzes with whispered scandals and open jabs.

With the backing of titans such as Galaxy Digital and Multicoin Capital, this gambit displays a confidence so palpable one could slice it with a dull spoon! Forward’s stocks soared-6%-like a jolly kite dancing in the summer winds, and the market, seemingly in rapture, has kept the ascent steady. One might ponder if this news was delivered on a golden platter or with the flamboyance of a grand masquerade ball! 🥳

Now, before we all get carried away imagining dancing crypto ETFs in our portfolios, let’s just hit pause. The fact that these tickers have been registered by the DTCC is a step in the right direction. But *newsflash*: It doesn’t mean they’re officially greenlit. The DTCC just adds them to the security eligibility list as part of prepping them for launch. But, let’s be real-regulatory decisions, especially from the big boss SEC, are still pending. ⏳

According to Bloomberg’s financial forensics, Gemini IPO decided to sell roughly 15.2 million shares at an impressive $28 per share. Somehow they managed to sell on the street for just $24 to $26. Because, you know, price tags are suggestions. 🐰