EURJPY

On a Wednesday that probably felt like any other, the company announced it’s raising roughly $38.2 million through a private stock offering-because what could possibly go wrong with selling shares at a hefty $5.73 each?-and grabbed an additional $35 million loan from Bitgo Prime, a firm that sounds like it should be a top-secret spy agency but is actually just a crypto giant. The whole shebang is meant to finance their grand plan to buy up toncoins (TONs, not to be confused with Tootsie Rolls) and launch what they charmingly call a digital asset treasury (DAT). Sounds fancy, right?

Bitcoin ascends to $112,000, a poetic return to a cherished resistance level, orchestrated by the bulls.

Deaton, ever the provocateur, fired back at skeptics who dismiss the XRP Army as mere keyboard warriors. “Oh, how quaint,” he seemed to say, as he argued that their relentless noise-excuse me, advocacy-actually swayed Judge Analisa Torres. Yes, the same judge who waded through over 2,000 exhibits, including amicus briefs, affidavits, and oral arguments, all presumably while sipping her morning coffee. According to Deaton, she didn’t just glance at these documents; she referenced them. Ergo, victory belongs not just to Ripple but to every XRP holder who dared to dream-and tweet-big.

Here’s the kicker: Consumers pay in crypto, but merchants get good ol’ US dollars or PayPal USD (PYUSD), PayPal’s stablecoin. It’s like magic, but with fewer rabbits and more algorithms. No price volatility, no drama-just smooth sailing. ⛵

Credit Cards versus Stablecoins

Your savings will vanish faster than my patience at a DMV. He’s even comparing today’s chaos to the 1930s-because nothing says “optimism” like invoking the Great Depression. 🎩💀

XRP, the cryptocurrency that once dreamed of being a “serious” financial tool, is now the belle of the altcoin ball. After a thrilling 2.2% surge, it’s trading at $2.86-clinging to that number like a tipsy aristocrat gripping a champagne flute. 🎉 According to CoinGecko, this makes it the “star performer” among top coins. Truly, the Oscars of blockchain!

Ah, Ethereum [ETH], the once-modest sibling to Bitcoin [BTC], now strides forth as the darling of decentralized finance (DeFi), tokenization, and the so-called “next-generation blockchain innovation.” How the tables have turned! 🌪️✨

a cryptojacking scheme targeting Windows systems, because hackers love comfort zones.

In what can only be described as a show of unapologetic crypto bravado, The Ether Machine announced on the ever-dignified X platform that they’ve secured a jaw-dropping $654 million worth of Ether-equal to 150,000 ETH for those of you playing at home. And just like that, they’ve set a new record for “biggest crypto piggy bank.” Jeffrey Berns, the Ethereum evangelist with more faith than a priest on Sunday, reportedly orchestrated this massive acquisition, making waves bigger than a whale in an ocean of pixels. The firm plans to stash this treasure into their digital vault, as they prepare to waltz onto the Nasdaq dance floor later this year-ready to show off their collection of nearly half a million ETH, valued at about $2.5 billion. It’s crypto’s version of “Look what I got-bet you don’t have this much ETH in your pillowcase.” 🥳