This metric is like a gossip columnist for blockchain: it tells us how active the network is and if people are *actually* trading. Spoiler: they’re not. But hey, at least it’s better than a crystal ball! 🎱
A senior official from the Finance Ministry, perhaps sipping chai while plotting the next tax raid, assured us that no Indian citizen’s overseas digital assets will escape the tax net. Legislative tweaks and system upgrades are already in motion, ensuring everything is shipshape before the grand unveiling. Because nothing says “progress” like years of preparation for a single policy. 🛠️⏳
Because who doesn’t love a good underdog story? Especially when that underdog could turn your $100 into a down payment on a yacht. 🛥️ So, we asked Gemini (yeah, the AI, not the twins) to spill the tea on the hottest altcoins. Spoiler: they’re spicier than a Liz Lemon one-liner.
Medá, a curious offspring of Binance’s shadowy financial ventures, will act as a bridge between the dusty world of fiat and the shimmering realm of crypto, all while being closely monitored by Mexican regulators. 🕵️♂️ The grand plan? To sprinkle financial inclusion like confetti on a blockchain parade, turning Mexico into a fintech Mecca. 🌵 But let’s not forget the real goal: outcompeting traditional banks while ensuring every peso is as traceable as a squirrel in a library. 🐿️
Don Jr., Eric, and Donny (bless their hearts) are the “co-founders.” And Donald? He’s the “honorary co-founder.” Which is perfect, really. He’s excellent at being honored. He doesn’t even have to, like, *do* anything.
Bloomberg reported on Sept. 1 that South Korea’s retail army has turned its back on Tesla faster than a cat fleeing bath time. August saw a record $657 million exodus from Tesla shares, while crypto-linked equities became the shiny new toy everyone wants under the Christmas tree. This marks Tesla’s largest monthly outflow since early 2019, contributing to an overall $1.8 billion retreat over four months. And yet, despite this betrayal, Tesla remains the top foreign stock among Korean traders, who still hold about $21.9 billion in the company. Nvidia and Palantir? They’re trailing far behind, like extras in a blockbuster movie. Even the leveraged Tesla ETF-which offers double exposure to Tesla shares-saw record redemptions of $554 million last month. Truly, the age of loyalty is dead. 🪦
Benjamin Cowen, herald of crypto wisdom, has decreed that after August’s all-time high bluster, ETH shall retreat into its emotional shell, whispering, “I think ETH will drop back to its 21-week EMA.” A real thrill ride. Quite the rollercoaster, and so many heads will surely turn crimson with rage, yet it’s been the whisper from the shadows since April, when ETH decided to go ‘home’-which in crypto-speak means crashing down to under $1,500, a sort of digital tantrum.
Verily, they propose to funnel all protocol fees-plucked from Ethereum, BNB Chain, and Solana like ripe cherries-into buying back their own WLFI tokens, only to toss them into the fiery abyss of a burn address. 🔥💰 A most theatrical solution to a most modern problem!
“What if, from here on, Bitcoin simply slow-grinds up and to the right, with long, drawn-out, uneventful 10-30% corrections and consolidations?” Bitcoin analyst PlanC speculated in an X post on Sunday. *A drama-free affair, I daresay.* 🎭
In a proclamation shared on X (formerly Twitter), the analytics firm Glassnode has unveiled the latest saga in the weekly inflows of US Bitcoin spot ETFs. These “spot ETFs,” dear friends, are but vessels for the timid investor-a regulated gateway into the wild frontier of cryptocurrencies. No longer must one wrestle with the arcane mysteries of digital wallets or exchanges; instead, they may dip their toes into the crypto waters from the comfort of their armchair. Ah, progress! 🛋️
