EURJPY

This calamitous collapse coincided, rather poetically, with the SHIB burn rate plummeting faster than a lead balloon. According to an update on X (formerly Twitter) from the ever-dramatic Shibburn account, the number of tokens sent to the fiery abyss dropped by a staggering 93.93%. Truly, it was as if the gods of blockchain themselves had turned their backs on this once-beloved memecoin. The result? A fall from grace—from a weeklong high of $0.00001594 to a pitiful low of $0.00001304. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! 📉🔥

Senator Bill Hagerty’s bipartisan bill didn’t just sail through U.S Congress. It had to break through a blockade from conservative Republicans and win over skeptical Democrats. The deal was finally sealed by beefing up consumer protections and cleverly tacking on language from the “Anti-CBDC Surveillance State Act” to a vital defense bill. 🧩⚔️

So, TRON Incorporation (formerly SRM Entertainment, who even remembers that?) is about to ring the Nasdaq bell. 🔔 Big deal, right? Wrong. It’s a *huge* deal. Like, “crypto meets Wall Street” huge. And guess what? They’re holding the biggest TRX treasury ever. 💼✨ It’s like they’re saying, “Hey institutions, we’re here, and we’re not leaving.” Mic drop. 🎤

Amid the ongoing market correction, Hyperliquid [HYPE] is showing signs of a potential reversal. Or maybe it’s just taking a well-deserved nap… 😴

In a twist of fate rivaling Dostoevsky’s roulette addiction, Coinbase’s David Duong and Glassnode’s wizards declare: recession fears are “diminishing” (read: napping), the Fed might cut rates (translation: free money?), and U.S. crypto regs are suddenly “market-friendly”! 📈✨ Their manifesto reads like a utopian dream penned by a caffeine-fueled intern.

A hidden bearish divergence on the RSI suggests Bitcoin’s bullish momentum might be taking a nap.

The Digital Dollar’s Fresh New Best Friend 🎯

USDtb, a curious hybrid of BlackRock’s BUIDL fund and crypto collateral, has already captivated offshore investors, amassing a staggering $1.45 billion in total value locked since December. Its arrival on U.S. shores heralds a pivotal era for regulated digital currencies, with Anchorage offering a compliant sanctuary for minting and distributing this token under federal scrutiny. 🚨⚖️

This whole price jump thing is basically a ritual for Husky Inu, which kicked off its pre-launch phase back on April 1. That’s right, they’re treating fundraising like a family BBQ – hot dogs flying everywhere! 🌭 They’ve already raked in over $800,000 as of June 15, and I hope they’re using that cash for something fun, like throwing a party or, I don’t know, buying all the dog treats they can! 🐶

Unlike your uncle’s old car, which still runs on ‘hope and dreams,’ these losses are less about buggy code and more about people leaving the keys in the ignition! It turns out weak access controls are responsible for nearly 60% of our ‘oopsies’ this time around. Smart contract bugs still managed to steal a whopping $263 million, though—we all thought that was just the price for bad ideas! 💸