EURJPY

Apparently, when the short-term moving average tiptoes above the long-term, it’s a cause for celebration among traders, astrologers, and very optimistic dogs. This energetic leap was fueled by Friday’s wild speculation that the Federal Reserve might be about to wave its rate-cutting wand, triggered by Jerome Powell at the annual Jackson Hole symposium-which, contrary to the name, is not a hole full of jackets but a place where people in suits say things that move markets.

Oh, the drama! Gemini squeals about a shiny credit facility with Ripple. It’s like having a magic purse that can pull out a minimum of $5 million and a whopping $75 million if needed-think of it as a piggy bank that could swallow a small house! And if the bigwigs nod yes, they might even turn this into a Ripple-stablecoin smoothie-deliciously USD-denominated-ready to go! The entire piggy bank? A hefty $150 million. Yum. 💸🧙‍♂️

But hold on tight, because Anthony Scaramucci from SkyBridge Capital isn’t about to let Eric hog the limelight. In between sips of whatever fancy drink he was holding during media interviews, Scaramucci doubled down on his own prediction: $180,000 to $200,000 by December. He calls it “conservative,” which is hilarious when you consider most people still find crypto confusing enough to make their heads spin like a roulette wheel. Institutional demand, marquee ETFs, blah blah blah-it’s enough to make you wonder if these guys are financial geniuses or just really good at talking fast. 🎤📈

Max Keiser, ever the raconteur, regales the world with his term “Casino Gulag,” claiming prophetic foresight. He visited such a phrase upon the world as early as the 2010s. It seems not even his own mind can keep this term shrouded in mystery.

According to the wise sages at CoinDesk, ether, the second-largest cryptocurrency (because being second is still a medal, right?), is trading at about $4,783. This is practically a red carpet moment for ETH, reflecting a strong demand from investors who are apparently all in on the crypto craze. 🤑

Peter L. Brandt, who has survived trading floors since the Iron Curtain was barely rusted and now pontificates amongst Bitcoin’s digital villagers, marked Ethereum’s recent high with a singular, almost tragic gasp: “Powerful.” Brandt has, in previous winters, regarded Ethereum much like an aging schoolmaster regards new mathematics-with suspicion and occasional heartburn. Nonetheless, he admits he would buy it, sell it, and buy it again, should the charts command, apparently ignoring all personal philosophies (which, let’s be honest, are usually ignored anyway). 😂

After hitting a local low of $111k, Bitcoin [BTC] bounced back to $117,421 before retracing to a low of $115,411. Like a rollercoaster ride, but without the fun. 🎢

The upshot is, CryptoWzrd is frightfully excited because LINK and LINKBTC did a “bullish daily close.” A bit like me closing the fridge door after deciding against the third glass of wine. A small victory, but one feels terribly proud nonetheless. He says it means “momentum could be building.” Which is what Daniel Cleaver said about that dreadful techno nightclub in Hoxton.

On-chain data reveals Wynn’s gamble, using $5,568 in margin to stake a 29.3 ETH position, worth $139,215, with an average entry at $4,239. The trade now glimmers with unrealized gains of $14,888, a 267% return. 🎰

The revered document, the Statement on Longer-Run Goals and Monetary Policy Strategy, has been reimagined, reaffirming the Fed’s unwavering commitment to “maximum employment” and “stable” prices, with a steadfast 2% inflation target, as measured by the personal consumption expenditures price index. Alas, the once noble pledge to allow inflation to “average” 2% over time, a policy that permitted the occasional indulgence above 2%, has met its end. Farewell, makeup policy; you were a bold experiment, but perhaps too whimsical for our current economic climate.