Why? Because prediction markets are like a game of Cripple Mr. Onion-trust is everything. If traders think their money’s safer than a troll under a bridge, they’ll run faster than a witch on a broomstick. USDC brings the stability, and Coinbase brings the “we’ve got this” vibe hedge funds crave. 🧙♀️💼
Social media, ever the echo chamber of panic, buzzed with reactions. But the crown for laconic genius must go to Billy Markus, the Dogecoin architect and internet icon, who offered his profound take via Twitter: “man wtf bitcoin.” A Shakespearean tragedy in three words, if ever there were one.
For years, crypto’s mantra was simple: “Bitcoin or bust!”-a creed as rigid as a Soviet plan. But now, like a thawing winter, maximalism melts. Bitcoin, once the alpha and omega, now slumbers as digital gold, while the real drama unfolds in altcoin realms. Spot ETFs, those capitalist saviors, have turned Bitcoin into a tax-advantaged savings account for the crypto bourgeoisie. OG whales? They’re not selling their BTC-they’re wrapping it in ETF silk and calling it a day.
Why, you ask? Oh, merely the “unpredictable outcomes” and rising uncertainty within Delaware’s legal framework. You know, the kind of unpredictability that makes even the most seasoned CFO break out in a cold sweat. 🥶 Joining the likes of SpaceX, Tesla, and Dropbox, Coinbase is now part of the “Texas or Bust” club, where the only thing hotter than the weather is the business-friendly climate. 🔥
Simultaneously, Ethereum, the enfant terrible of the crypto world, saw 228,000 options worth $730 million expire, their Put-Call Ratio of 0.59 hinting at a market both hopeful and hesitant. The max pain point, a mere $3,475, seemed almost quaint in comparison, like a peasant’s dream in a palace of excess. 🏰
According to sources – unnamed, naturally, for who would willingly attach their reputation to such outlandish speculation? – the plans are…fluid. As fluid as a politician’s promises, one might add. 🙄
HBAR, poor thing, retreated 3.5% during Thursday’s tedious session, meandering from $0.1617 to $0.1761. This little dip occurred, hilariously, even as the grown-ups (institutions) were tossing $68 million into the pool. The token, with a sigh of digital exhaustion, met rejection at the $0.1805 resistance level. There was a fleeting morning spike, reaching a pathetic $0.1802 on a surge of volume – 79% above the daily average! A veritable frenzy of interest, quickly extinguished, like a damp firework.
The drive for clear crypto governance is accelerating faster than a bull on a caffeine rush. The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) is finally shaking off the fog, honing its vision under the mystifyingly elusive ‘Project Crypto.’ On November 12, SEC Chairman Paul S. Atkins spoke at the Federal Reserve Bank of Philadelphia, outlining how the SEC’s work is converging into something that might-just might-resemble clear rules for digital assets.