EURJPY

The week starts with the JOLTS job openings report on Wednesday. Economists predict it’ll stay around 7.4 million, but who really listens to economists, right? If the labor market stays strong, the Fed might not feel the need to cut rates, which could strengthen the US dollar and, in turn, make life harder for Bitcoin and other risk assets. It’s like the Fed is playing a game of chicken with the market, and we’re all just sitting here waiting to see who blinks first. 🕵️‍♂️

Apparently, the Federal Reserve-yes, the same geniuses who couldn’t predict inflation if it hit them in the face-might accidentally do something right for once. And by “right,” I mean cut rates so much that even my grandma starts buying Bitcoin. Classic.

Like a chameleon, Seker’s going to charm policymakers and be all ‘compliant, compliant,’ because, you know, nothing says ‘fun’ like dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s in the crypto universe! His CAE superpowers include taming wild markets, crafting products at Crypto.com, and waltzing through legal minefields. Oh, and once upon a time, he bilked around in some serious banking, fintech, and even poked around with Ant Group and Rothschilds (cue the tux and top hats). 📜🎩

Enter Block (BLOCK). Trading at a modest $0.65-about the price of a slightly overinflated cup of coffee-this token has gone vertical, soaring 294% in just a week. It’s a classic story: hit a low of $0.11 back in August, then decided to give the market a jolly good spanking with a 500% surge since. It’s still, however, 62% below its July 2025 high of $1.80, which, despite sounding futuristic, was probably just the product of some very enthusiastic trading algorithms in lab coats.

He reckons it’s a déjà vu dance, like when folks shrugged off Bitcoin and Ethereum ETFs, only to watch gazillions flood in once those shiny doors finally flung open. Spoiler: That cash didn’t exactly tiptoe in, it barged like a hungry hippo. 🦛💸

Yet somehow, despite this nosedive, on-chain and trading data are whispering sweet nothings about resilience. Market activity is heating up more than a summer barbecue-spot and derivatives volumes are jumping higher than a cat chasing a laser pointer. Spot trading hit a brisk $30.6 billion, up 30%, while derivatives are roaring with a 44.55% surge to $58.42 billion. Traders are opening more positions than a shady pawn shop on payday, showing conviction-or maybe just a desperate hope to catch the rebound.

Once again, El Salvador makes headlines, not for its beaches, but for its Bitcoin stash! The nation’s National Bitcoin Office (ONBTC) announced on Friday that it’s moving its precious coins into various addresses. Over 6,285 BTC are to be split and scattered across multiple locations, each containing a mere 500 BTC-for the sake of security, of course. 🌐🔒

According to Nikkei, Japan Post Bank is preparing to introduce a digital deposit currency for its account holders by 2026. A year from now, we shall all be wealthy, or at least less confused. 🎉

This apocalyptic aria was amplified by none other than Mr. Max Keiser, a gentleman whose fervor for Bitcoin (BTC) rivals a debutante’s passion for the latest Parisian bonnet. He implores investors to “flee to El Salvador,” a suggestion that may strike some as excessive until one recalls El Salvador’s recent embrace of crypto as legal tender. A digital Noah’s Ark, if you will. 🚢

Blockchain analysts at TRM Labs have noted that from January to July 2025, total cryptocurrency inflows into Iran amounted to a mere $3.7 billion, marking an 11% decrease from the same period in 2024. But wait, it gets better-or worse, depending on your perspective.