At some secret fancy-schmancy seminar (CF40, if you care to Google it), Zhou dropped some major side-eye on yuan-backed stablecoins. His exact words? “Be wary of the risk of stablecoins being over-used for asset speculation.” Translation: stop playing Monopoly with real money, people.
With the Ministry of Finance giving a nod of approval, KuCoin has waltzed into the spotlight, becoming the first global exchange to dip its toes into Thailand’s tokenized bond market, joining forces with XSpring Digital, SIX Network, and Krungthai XSpring. Who knew bonds could be so trendy? 💃
Indeed, Ethereum (ETH) ETFs have seen a total of $1.83 billion in inflows from August 21 to 27, while Bitcoin ETFs, bless their hearts, attracted just $171 million during the same period. According to the wise sages at SoSoValue, exchange-traded funds tracking ETH brought in a princely sum of $307.2 million during their latest trading session, while Bitcoin (BTC) ETFs could only manage $81.3 million in net inflows. Oh, the humanity!
Let’s talk about September. A month that has historically been as friendly to Bitcoin as a rainy Monday morning. The stats say it’s the weakest month of the year for BTC, with a record of never closing more than 8% higher. So, naturally, traders are trying to make sense of the charts in the hope that this time might be… different. Spoiler alert: It probably won’t be.
The crypto market, that grand theater of human greed and folly, has entered yet another “decisive week.” Bitcoin, ever the stubborn patriarch, clings to its throne with a mere 0.42% dip, while Ethereum, the restless prodigy, takes a 4.5% tumble from its lofty $4,800 perch. Poor ETH-its weekly candle burns red for the first time in August, like a poet whose verses have been rejected by the muse herself.
The recent sell-off appears to have been led by institutional traders, who offloaded over 60M XLM worth about $24.6M. This is the financial equivalent of a toddler throwing a tantrum in a library. Also, DeFi TVL slipped from $143.35M to $142.48M month-on-month, which is like watching a snail lose a race. Competitors like Solana and BSC are sprinting ahead, while XLM is still figuring out how to tie its shoes. So what’s in store for XLM in the near term? Let us decode the same in this price analysis, which is about as reliable as a weather forecast in a tornado. 🧨
According to the oracle himself, ENA is destined to leap a staggering 51 times, ETHFI a modest 34 times, and HYPE-oh, the audacity!-a jaw-dropping 126 times! One might wonder if he’s been sipping too much of that potent crypto elixir. 🍷
At the Manila Tech Summit (because every politician needs a tech summit these days), Bam Aquino-who, by the way, sounds like a character from a bad sitcom-pitched this idea like it was the next sliced bread.
As of now, shares betting on Johnson’s victory are trading at a modest 7 cents. This implies there’s a 7% chance-yes, just 7%-of the man who once suplexed opponents for a living securing the Democratic nomination. Not bad for a guy who’s mainly known for his eyebrow raises and jaw-dropping movie roles, right? Still, he’s in fourth place, trailing behind Gavin Newsom, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and Pete Buttigieg.
Let’s face it, when Edward Snowden gives a thumbs up to a VPN service, you don’t ask questions. You just sign up. The man knows a thing or two about keeping secrets. But if you’re still living in the dark ages of credit card payments, hoping the internet forgets what you bought five years ago-well, good luck with that. The Nym-Dash partnership lets you make those payments in a way that doesn’t involve your favorite credit card company knowing more about you than your therapist.