Crypto Chaos: $3M Torch Job Leaves Hyperliquid in Ashes 😱💸

According to Lookonchain (you know, the Sherlock Holmes of blockchain), this mastermind withdrew 3 million USDC from OKX, split it into 19 wallets like it’s a drug deal, and then went full degen on Hyperliquid. 💼💥 Opened $26 million in leveraged longs tied to HYPE (because who doesn’t love a good POPCAT-denominated perpetual contract?). 🍿

SharpLink Makes $104M in Q3 2025: How Ethereum Became Their Cash Cow

SharpLink Gaming (NASDAQ: SBET) has delivered results that might make traditional investors spit out their coffee. The company announced a staggering $104.3 million profit for Q3 2025, thanks to its ongoing Ethereum treasury strategy (yes, you read that right, crypto profits). The bulk of the windfall came from their very clever approach to Ethereum staking-who would’ve guessed that actually using crypto for something useful might work?

Chainlink ETF Nears Reality-The Obsessive Pursuit of Faith and Foolish Hope

Yet, amidst this glimmer of hope, the on-chain data reveals a most lamentable truth: LINK holders, with a stubbornness born of desperation or madness, continue their relentless selling, as if their very souls depend upon it. Even as the institutional confidence grows-like weeds in a neglected garden-their despair persists.

Ethereum’s New ‘Trustlessness Manifesto’ – What’s the Big Deal? 🚀

And what’s this? The only function, pledge(), is a humble record-keeper, logging addresses and timestamps like a clerk in a 19th-century ledger. It emits a Pledged(address, timestamp) event so grand, it’s like a barn dance for blockchain enthusiasts. 🎟️🕵️‍♂️ One might say it’s the epitome of “trustlessness”-a world where even your grandma’s cookie jar is encrypted, and your neighbor’s cat is a DAO. 💰🐱

SoFi & Crypto: Seriously?! 🤯

They’re calling it “SoFi Crypto” – very imaginative, guys. Very. You can now buy, sell, and hold (as if any of us are actually holding for the long term…it’s more like holding onto a sinking ship, amirite? 📉) things like Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Solana. Because apparently, regular banking wasn’t risky enough.