Bitcoin’s Calm Seas: A Year Without Drama (Sort Of)

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Bitcoin Volatility Graph

Friday rolled in with K33 Research’s data, though I wish they’d presented it with a sizzle. Turns out Bitcoin wrapped up 2025 as the least erratic it’s ever been. Imagine, just 2.24% average deviation in daily returns. Last year’s bad-tempered tantrums look like those annoying little outbursts your toddler throws when they learn to walk. In 2023, by comparison, that figure slunk up to 2.30%. You can practically hear the collective sigh of relief from Wall Street analysts everywhere!

Crypto Hacks Drop 60%? What’s Going On? 🚨

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But fear not! The damage that did occur was still significant, as if a single drop of water could drown a kingdom. Reports reveal a smorgasbord of scams and technical failures, proving December was anything but a risk-free romp through the blockchain. 🕵️‍♂️💸

SEC Loses Its Crypto-Grumpy Guardian – Hooray for Digital Assets?

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A seismic shift in the SEC’s regulatory dance floor occurred on Jan. 2, as Commissioner Caroline Crenshaw-known for her love of red tape and disdain for digital assets-departed. This marks a pivotal moment in the ongoing saga of crypto oversight, now led by a trio of commissioners who might just let the market breathe. 🕺

Is Bitcoin About to Throw a Tantrum or Just Pretending to Be Interesting? 🤔🚀

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Our friend BTC is still comfortably trapped in that descending channel, testing the upper limit like a teenager eyeing the fridge after curfew. The resistance levels above $95K are about as welcoming as a porcupine in a balloon factory-a prickly barrier that’s yet to give way. RSI’s climbing, but not high enough for a victory dance, meaning there’s still a comfortable room for a confidence collapse. If buyers don’t muster some courage, we might see a dance back down to $80K-the “meh” zone of support. Basically, it’s the financial equivalent of a squirrel contemplating crossing a busy road: maybe, maybe not, but probably not today.