EURJPY

Profiting from crypto is like finding a fourth-color spectrum in a rainbow-it feels fantastical. But then, along comes tax season, grinning like a Cheshire cat ready to pounce. Fear not! Discerning investors know there are entirely legal methods to ninja-slice your tax bill in 2025. Whether you’re trading, staking, or just ignoring your wallet until the heat death of the universe, here’s your guide to sneaking past the Revenue Services like a ghost in the blockchain. 🎃

Investors, suddenly filled with festive cheer (or perhaps too much eggnog), throw caution to the wind. Liquidity dries up, amplifying every price twitch into a seismic event. And thus, the rally is born-not from logic, but from collective hysteria.

Our EtherNaysyonal, a prophet in the pixelated wilderness, has deigned to share their insights with the devoted Dogecoin congregation. They point to past, entirely arbitrary, price movements – those gorgeous, chaotic curves of irrationality – and divines a future mirroring this nonsensical history. It’s a methodology reminiscent of reading tea leaves, but with more blockchain.

As for sentiments, the marketers, those cautious souls, remain in a state of dread, with a Fear & Greed Index of 29 and an altcoin season index of 33. Today’s rally, a fragile butterfly, hinges on the U.S. Senate’s resolution of the government shutdown, ETF momentum-particularly for XRP-and the enigmatic dance of heavy whale accumulation in ETH, ZEC, and select smaller alts. Amid this chaos, I present to you the price predictions for Bitcoin, Ethereum, and XRP, as if they were oracles of the digital age. 🧙‍♂️

The Central Bank of Brazil, in a move as dramatic as a Wildean protagonist, has temporarily banished blockchain from its drex CBDC project. Oh, the horror! 😱 According to local whispers, the third phase of this digital dalliance will focus on tokenized assets as collateral. How utterly practical! Though fear not, blockchain enthusiasts-the bank assures us this is but a fleeting affair, and smart contracts shall return in all their interoperable glory. 🕶️

It transpires that AVAX traders are indulging in a spot of reckless over-leveraging, perching precariously at $16.79 and $17.65. A financial tightrope walk, if ever there was one. 🤦‍♀️

ETH remains range-bound below $3,500, with weak momentum and neutral derivatives data. It’s like watching a sloth navigate a treadmill-slow, steady, and slightly disappointing. 🦥

Ethereum, much like its dependable sibling Bitcoin, managed to hang onto its marbles above the precarious $3,200, igniting a recovery fête. It danced away joyful from the $3,350 and $3,400 barricades.

The world, it seems, has been seduced by stablecoins, those paragons of predictability in a sea of volatility. Ark Invest’s Cathie Wood, with the solemnity of a man who once believed in the divine right of gold, now admits that stablecoins have stolen a page from bitcoin’s playbook. “Stablecoins,” she declared, “are playing a role we once thought belonged solely to bitcoin.” And so, with a sigh worthy of a Tolstoyan protagonist, she adjusted her 2030 price target from $1.5 million to $1.2 million-a mere $300,000, yet a chasm in the realm of speculation. 🤷‍♂️

Bybit and Block Scholes just released a report saying traders are “cautiously finding stability.” Which, in crypto terms, probably means they’re just waiting for the next disaster to hit. 🕵️‍♀️