The market’s timid heart skipped a beat as retail investors fled, clutching their wallets like children hiding from a thunderstorm. Solana, ever the resilient aristocrat, stood firm-a relic of better days-while lesser chains crumbled beneath the weight of their own hubris.
In a move so bold it could only be described as either genius or galloping lunacy, the Polish Sejm-yes, that esteemed chamber where laws are born and die like mayflies in a vodka storm-voted last Thursday to resurrect the Crypto-Asset Market Act, identical in every way to the version President Karol Nawrocki had so dramatically rejected earlier this month. Not modified. Not improved. Not even a new font. Just… poof… back again, like a ghost that forgot to haunt anyone else. 👻
“The digital euro is an important step toward a more robust and competitive European payment system, and can contribute to Europe’s strategic autonomy and economic security,” Danish Economy Minister Stephanie Lose said Friday, noting Denmark currently holds the Council’s rotating presidency. A position that, in the grand scheme of things, is about as important as a spoon in a soup kitchen. 🥄
This delightful judgment wraps up a rather sordid chapter in the grand tale of crypto calamity.
“Is it a macro game-changer? Nope,” Brandt declares, eyes twinkling with the skepticism of a man who has seen many a crypto bubble burst into fireworks and smoke. “Regulating an asset nobody wanted to be regulated? Earth-shattering? Please.”
Indeed, XRP’s fate appears to be entwined with the whims of the market. The divergence between the burgeoning ETF assets and the dwindling spot prices has piqued the interest of many a market participant, much like a cat keenly observing a mousehole. 🐱💰
Short-term technical signals suggest Bitcoin is clinging to a support area like a toddler to their blankie after the CPI-induced tantrum. Crypto analyst Ali Martinez (aka Ali Charts, the Sherlock Holmes of intraday swings) pointed out $85,400 as the emotional support level, with $89,900 playing hard-to-get as resistance. 🧐📉
The foundation behind EigenLayer’s restaking sorcery has proposed a governance overhaul to shower new incentives upon the EIGEN token-because apparently, rewarding productivity is the new black.
In a surprising turn of events, Bybit is back, like a well-mannered boomerang, after quitting the scene two years ago amidst the FCA’s crackdown on promotional shenanigans. Today, they’re rolling out the red carpet (and a few legal disclaimers) to UK users, offering spot and peer-to-peer (P2P) trading-because what’s more British than trading assets like a proper gent? 🇬🇧
Kim’s core thesis is not a mere “XRP shall rise” mantra, but a grand wager that capital will pour into the XRP Ledger itself, treating it as a sacred temple of settlement rather than a casino chip. A bold claim, indeed-though one might wonder if he’s conflating a network with a narrative. 🏦✨