Behold! A Bitcoin Mining Beast That Devours Petahashes Like Vodka 🍾⚡

At the Bitcoin MENA 2025 conference in Abu Dhabi-where the air is thick with ambition and the occasional whiff of desperation-MicroBT unveiled its M70 series. With this, they join Bitmain in the illustrious “Petahash Club,” a dubious honor reserved for those who dare to cram more computing power into a metal box than should be legally permissible.

2026 Market ‘Hurricane’ Looms: Solzhenitsyn’s Stark Warning

McGlone, in a The David Lin Report confessional, painted a world where U.S. equities, bitcoin, and commodities dance on the edge of a late-cycle precipice. “A hurricane,” he declared, “is not a metaphor-it is a reckoning.” His vision? Bitcoin, that digital tulip, plunging from $50,000 to $10,000-a journey from gilded promise to ash. 🤡

Bitcoin’s $85K Tango: Will It Moon or Doom? 🌕💸

Enter Ted Pillows, the guy who’s basically Bitcoin’s therapist, tracking its high-timeframe support reactions. According to him, BTC’s been clinging to $85K like it’s the last slice of pizza. 🍕 If it holds, we’re looking at a rebound to $90K-$92K. But hey, no pressure, Bitcoin. Just the entire crypto world watching. 👀

Federal Reserve’s New Crypto Rules: Banks Get a Green Light (Finally!) 🚦💸

Bitcoin chart. Because why not?

Previously, the Fed played the part of the stern disciplinarian, insisting that crypto banks were the financial equivalent of unaccompanied children at a fireworks factory. Access to the core payment systems was off-limits, and the notion of Federal Reserve membership was as appealing as a porcupine in a telephone booth. But no more, dear reader! We’re now on a course that say’s “Come on in, the water’s lovely,”-though banks still have to toe the line and play by the risk-management rules, of course.

XRP’s 50-Week SMA: Triple-Digit Rally or Just Larry’s Bad Luck? 🚀💰

XRP Chart from Steph

Instead of obsessing over XRP’s short-term mood swings (which, let’s be honest, have been more bearish than Larry at a buffet), this analysis is all like, “Hey, look at the long game!” 🙄 Because, you know, extended periods below this magical line have always meant the end of the sadness and the start of the party. Sure, Jan.