Powell Out?! 😱 The Truth!

One gathers, from the agitated twitterings of the digital rabble, that a most curious rumour has been circulating. Apparently, Mr. Jerome Powell, the gentleman currently presiding over the American financial arrangements – a role one imagines is fraught with tedious paperwork and the occasional fright – has tendered his resignation. The whole affair smacks, naturally, of vulgar sensationalism, but one must investigate these things. It began, predictably, with a Senator.

Is this a genuine political upheaval, or merely another triumph for the age of misinformation? One is inclined, frankly, to suspect the latter.

Let us proceed with a degree of detached amusement.

The Genesis of the Fuss

The unpleasantness commenced on July 22nd, 2025, when Senator Mike Lee, a man whose judgment one trusts approximately as far as one can throw a particularly stubborn mule, published an image on that frightful platform, X. The image in question purported to be a letter of resignation from Mr. Powell. “Powell’s out!” proclaimed the Senator, with the breathless enthusiasm of a schoolboy revealing he’s smuggled sweets into chapel. It swiftly proliferated, before being hastily deleted – a telling detail, don’t you think? – and preserved for posterity by a journalist named Jordain Carney.

A Forgery, Naturally

The document itself, upon closer inspection (and one shudders to think what Mr. Powell’s stationery bill must be), proved to be a rather pathetic fabrication. The ‘official’ stamp resembled a child’s attempt at hieroglyphics, the grammar was…suboptimal, and the general tone suggested the work of either an artificial intelligence gone rogue or a particularly bored prankster with access to a word processor. Experts – one presumes these exist – confirmed this judgment. There’s been no word, naturally, from the Federal Reserve itself, or from Mr. Powell, who is presumably occupied with more pressing matters, such as avoiding further ridiculous rumours.

Senator Lee, after a suitable period of prevarication, conceded he couldn’t vouch for the letter’s authenticity. One imagines his embarrassment is acute.

The Roots of Discontent

It appears Mr. Powell has attracted a degree of political…displeasure. Certain figures, notably a former President who shall remain nameless (though his complexion is reliably orangey), have expressed dissatisfaction with his manipulations of interest rates and a building project of, shall we say, considerable ambition. Such is the fate of all who attempt to manage the modern economy.

However, Mr. Powell remains in post, and there is no legitimate reason for his premature departure. A Mr. Bill Pulte, a gentleman who appears to hold a dim view of Mr. Powell, contributed to the hysteria by whispering of imminent resignation to ‘reliable sources’. One hopes these sources weren’t found at the bottom of a gin bottle. Further muddying the waters, the Polymarket (a place best avoided by anyone with a functioning nervous system) saw a minor dip in wagers on Mr. Powell’s removal.

A Table of Pertinent (and Slightly Amusing) Facts – Courtesy of Coinpedia

Claim	Coinpedia’s Evidence
Jerome Powell has resigned as Fed Chair	Absolutely not. The man is still at his desk, one presumes.
Senator Lee posted a genuine resignation letter	A forgery of the most abysmal quality.
Powell is being pressured to leave	There’s always someone complaining. It’s the nature of the beast.

The Verdict

Claim	Jerome Powell resigned as Fed Chair.
Verdict	False. Utterly, completely, and demonstrably false.
Fact-Check by Coinpedia	To reiterate, there exists no credible evidence – beyond the feverish imaginings of a politician and the lamentable gullibility of the internet – to suggest that Mr. Powell has resigned. The “resignation letter” is a sham. This entire episode serves as a rather pointed reminder to exercise a modicum of skepticism and consult reputable sources. 🧐

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2025-07-23 09:38