Ripple Labs, that ever-charming circus of crypto-optimism, is allegedly orchestrating a $1 billion SPAC spectacle to hoard XRP like a dragon guarding gold. Because nothing says “financial innovation” like inflating your own currency’s treasury while the market burns 🕯️.
Bloomberg, the bard of Wall Street’s fever dreams, claims Ripple will toss some of its *own* XRP into this digital vault. Bold move for a company sitting on 4.74 billion tokens-roughly $11 billion worth-while another 36 billion rot in escrow. A monopoly? No, just “strategic abundance” 😏.
Ripple’s rallying the SPAC cavalry to amass XRP…
Behold, the “DAT” era: where crypto dreams meet corporate accounting.
– As reported by @olgakharif (and the ghost of Karl Marx)
– Nate Geraci (@NateGeraci) October 17, 2025
DAT: The New Black, Or Just Snake Oil 2.0?
Ripple, ever the multitasker, also dropped $1 billion on GTreasury-a software firm promising to “revolutionize” corporate finance. CEO Brad Garlinghouse declared they’re invading the “$120 trillion corporate treasury market.” Because nothing screams “disruption” like mimicking the bankers you claimed to overthrow 🎩.
“Cash is trapped in outdated systems!” cried the man building a vault.
XRP DATs? Rarer than a polite crypto Twitter debate. Meanwhile, Bitcoin and Ether zealots keep buying the dip, because why not? BitMine added 300,000 ETH post-crash-now sitting on a stash worth more than some G20 economies. Strategy, Inc., bought 220 BTC for $27 million. Their CEO probably hasn’t slept since 2013.
XRP’s Price: The Party Pooper of Cryptoland
The market yawned. XRP tumbled 5% to $2.27, now down 40% from its July peak. Traders, in their infinite wisdom, responded with a collective shrug 🤷♂️. Perhaps they’ve learned that “treasuries” and “SPACs” rarely spell “moons” in crypto-unless you count the moon landing of common sense.
Flash crash to $1? Just a dress rehearsal for the main event: your portfolio’s descent into the void 🌌.
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2025-10-17 12:07