Robots & Crypto?! đŸ€– You Won’t Believe This!

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So, apparently the folks at Tether – you know, the stablecoin people, the ones basically printing digital money like it’s going out of style – have decided they’re now in the robot-building business. Or, more accurately, the robot-funding business. They’ve chucked a wad of cash, reportedly $81 million, at an Italian startup called Generative Bionics, who are attempting to build humanoid robots. Humanoid! As if we didn’t have enough to worry about. 😳

This 70 million euro venture, which sounds delightfully European and complicated, was led by CDP Venture Capital, who presumably know more about this sort of thing than I do. But Tether, bless their algorithmic hearts, decided to jump in alongside AMD, Duferco, Eni Next, and RoboIT. Quite the group. It’s like a tech conference at a particularly ambitious Italian dinner party.

Tether, in a press release that probably required a team of public relations people, explained that this investment is all about “advanced humanoid robots, built for industrial scale performance and human-centric interaction.” Right. Because what the world really needs is more robots that pretend to understand us. I, for one, welcome our new robotic overlords. 🙄

Apparently, the goal is to give these robots “real-world physical AI capabilities,” meaning they won’t just fall over if you ask them to fetch a cup of coffee. Industrial usability is a key focus. Think factory production lines. Frankly, a robot that can assemble IKEA furniture without a nervous breakdown would be a massive win.

And the really generous explanation, according to Tether, is that this is all about “expanding human potential while reducing reliance on centralized systems overseen by Big Tech.” Which
 okay. Sure. It’s probably also about diversifying their portfolio before the whole cryptocurrency thing implodes. Just a thought. đŸ€”

Tether apparently divides its investments into five handy buckets: finance, power, data, education, and “evolution.” AI falls under “evolution,” which sounds suspiciously like science fiction. They’ve been splurging lately, apparently eyeballing a $1.15 billion investment in a German robotics outfit (Neura) last month. That’s a lot of robots. A lot.

They’ve also been meddling with brain-computer interfaces (through Blackrock Neurotech – no, really) and set up a massive 20,000-GPU compute network with Northern Data and Rumble. Because, naturally, the future involves plugging our brains into supercomputers to train even more robots. It’s all so perfectly logical. đŸ€Ș

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2025-12-09 07:54