TL;DR
- Four months till year’s end-like a waiter counting tips after midnight-and all eyes gape at the haughty, inscrutable US SEC, weighing crypto ETFs as if choosing which hat to wear to an absurd soirée.
- Grayscale, that corpulent tsar of crypto asset managers, has fluffed up its doublets and gingerly submitted an update for its Cardano and Polkadot ETFs-with the decorum of an old bureaucrat revising paperwork destined for the never-ending archives.
Hot off the samovar: @Grayscale waves S-1s for Cardano and Polkadot like declarations of love to the SEC bureaucracy. Of course, these aren’t virginal; Grayscale already tossed in 19b-4s once-because what’s ETF paperwork if not endless repetition?
– James Seyffart (@JSeyff) August 29, 2025
Cardano ETF Update
According to the sacred Bloomberg scrolls as read by Sir James Seyffart, Grayscale’s S-1s are mere amendments-cosmetic, like touching up peeling paint in a St. Petersburg bakery-not the grand breakthrough filings one might expect. S-1s offer a lavish banquet of paperwork: fund mechanics, tracking method, risks, custodians (probably disinterested), fees (the horror!), and the labyrinthine corridors of redemption and creation. 🍞📜
Think of it as a Potemkin ETF village, constructed mostly for the SEC’s amusement, while deadlines slip into the mist and the crypto townsfolk peer nervously at ticking clocks.
The betting taverns (Polymarket, of course) have begun maddened speculation: 87% odds for ADA ETF approval-up from a tragic 63%, which is still better odds than finding a sober accountant in Gogol’s Russia.
Less poetic is ADA’s price, recently thrown from its high horse ($0.96) straight into a muddy puddle ($0.81), before dusting itself off in hopes of the SEC’s nod and another wild rally toward the mythical $1. Will Cardano ETF approval bring order? Or only more slapstick chaos? One can only sigh, clutch one’s coin purse, and wait.
DOT ETF Updates
Say hello to Polkadot, which Grayscale led like a bashful debutante to the SEC’s peculiar dance. S-1 registration in hand, DOT has done its own melodramatic swooning: dropping from $4.3 to $3.75 before regaining a smidge of dignity. A performance worthy of a provincial stage.
The Polkadot crowd is bullish-one imagines overzealous speculators in crumpled coats-their dreams as high as $20 if the SEC lets the ETF waltz through the doors. Will DOT seize glory? Or just another chapter in Gogol’s “Dead Souls”? The crowd remains hopeful (and perhaps easily fooled).
$DOT currently clings to $3.73 with the optimism of a gambler who’s pawned his last samovar. Technical signs? Sure, they point up-toward $20, where we all have imaginary mansions and real debts. #DOT @Polkadot 🎩💸
– ThomasReid (@ThomasReidBtc) August 30, 2025
And so, dear reader, the comedy of ETFs continues with more paperwork, wild hope, price tumbles, and endless bureaucratic intrigue. 🥒🤦♂️
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2025-08-30 14:14