O, ye seekers of financial order! Paul Atkins, the self-proclaimed architect of the crypto cosmos, declared with the gravitas of a prophet that the SEC possesses sufficient divine authority to steer the digital asset realm into the future-2026, no less! 🧠⚖️
In a CNBC interview, Atkins, who likely moonlights as a philosopher-king, proclaimed the SEC’s “technical assistance” to Congress as a mere formality, akin to a child’s finger-painting attempting to guide a master artist. 🎨🖌️ Though the government shutdown had left the agency as battered as a war-torn soul, Atkins persisted, crafting rules “focused on helping [the crypto] sector.” A noble endeavor, or perhaps a masochistic one? 🤷♂️
“We have enough authority to drive forward,” he intoned, as if reciting a sacred text. “I’m looking forward to an innovation exemption… in a month or so.” A promise as fleeting as a candle in a hurricane. 🔥🌪️
Atkins, confirmed by the Senate after Trump’s nomination, has taken steps to reduce enforcement actions against crypto firms, issuing no-action letters like a benevolent dictator. A move that aligns perfectly with Trump’s “innovate or perish” mantra. 🕵️♂️💼
His actions, however, are as enigmatic as a Dostoevsky novel-full of contradictions, yet oddly comforting. 🧠✨
The SEC chair, ever the showman, rang the NYSE bell, declaring his plans “on the cusp of America’s 250th anniversary.” A date so far off, it’s practically a myth. 🎉📜
US regulators are still awaiting progress on a market structure bill
Lawmakers, like weary travelers, are inching toward a digital asset market structure bill, which will outline the SEC’s and CFTC’s regulatory dominion over cryptocurrencies. A battle of titans, or perhaps a bureaucratic soap opera. 🎭
Senate Banking Chair Tim Scott, ever the optimist, claims the bill will be ready for markup in December. A date as reliable as a Russian roulette trigger. ⚔️
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2025-12-02 19:50