Ah, dear reader, the weekend has bestowed upon us yet another twist in the tale of financial folly. The ominous threats of tariffs fluttering about like errant butterflies, combined with the delightful prospect of a government shutdown, have conspired to reduce our beleaguered Bitcoin to a most disheartening five-week low of $86,000. How utterly charming!
As we traverse this tragic landscape, one cannot help but notice that while most altcoins languish in shades of crimson, our dear RIVER has taken it upon itself to rewrite the rules of engagement, as if it were the only child at a particularly dreary dinner party.
The Dance of BTC: A Tragicomedy
Only a week past, this illustrious cryptocurrency found itself tumbling from its lofty perch above $95,500 to a mere $92,000, all within the blink of an eye as traditional markets stirred awake. Alas, the situation only spiraled further into chaos, with BTC plummeting to $87,000 by midweek-truly, a performance worthy of the grandest tragedies!
In a curious twist, the ever-controversial Mr. Trump assured us he would not resort to forceful antics over Greenland, which ignited a fleeting relief rally, sending prices dancing chaotically between $91,000 and below $90,000. Yet, despite the weekend’s apparent tranquility, the bearish clouds loomed ominously overhead, leaving BTC hovering around $89,000 like a reluctant guest at a funeral.
Then came Saturday, when our protagonist threatened to impose a most extravagant 100% tariff on Canada should they dare embrace an open trade deal with China. Oh, the drama! Reports of potential governmental shutdowns added fuel to this theatrical fire.
As expected, BTC took a nosedive following these revelations, landing at its lowest price since December 19-$86,000, if you must know. However, in a rather miraculous display, it clawed back some dignity, currently resting near $88,000. Its market cap has now dipped to $1.750 trillion, maintaining a steadfast 57.5% dominance over its wayward altcoin compatriots.
RIVER: The Eccentric Outlier
Behold the chart below, a testament to the woeful plight of altcoin companions. Ethereum, once a regal figure, has abandoned the $3,000 support, now sulking beneath $2,900. BNB has meandered below $875, while XRP finds itself languishing under $1.90. SOL, ADA, and XMR have also seen their fortunes dwindle, as CC takes a nearly 7% daily plunge, closely followed by MNT’s rather sad 5% decline.
Yet, amidst this gloomy tableau, RIVER struts along, defying gravity with a delightful 40% daily surge, a splendid 230% weekly leap, and a staggering 2,100% increase over the past month! It now trades at $84, boasting a market cap exceeding $1.6 billion-truly astonishing, wouldn’t you agree?
Alas, while RIVER basks in its newfound glory, the total crypto market cap has succumbed to a mere $3.050 trillion on CG, suffering yet another $30 billion loss on this comical day.
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2026-01-26 13:33