Trump, Cocaine & Bitcoin: A Volatile Love Triangle 💸💣

Bitcoin hit $93k as Trump threatened Colombia and Mexico. Geopolitics, cartels, and crypto: What could possibly go wrong?

The new year’s volatility is so dramatic, I half-expected Meryl Streep to show up with a megaphone.

BTC soared Monday as investors reacted to White House chaos. Because nothing says “market confidence” like a presidential tweetstorm.

Donald Trump, ever the diplomat, called Colombia “very sick” and its leader a “sick man.” When asked about military action, he said it “sounds good.” Classic. 🦜

Nicolas Maduro on board the USS Iwo Jima.

– The White House (@WhiteHouse)

These words sent shockwaves through markets. Bitcoin climbed 3% to $93k, acting like a safe haven despite looking more like a Russian nesting doll of risk.

Trump also threatened Mexico, despite being besties with Claudia Sheinbaum. Cartels beware! Traders hedged bets, but Bitcoin led the charge like it was running from a bear market. 🐻

Geopolitical Trends Drive the Bitcoin Price Higher

Market observers linked BTC’s rise to Air Force One’s latest drama. Because nothing drives demand like a president who treats Twitter like a game of chess with a flamethrower. 🔥

Gold and silver gained, but Bitcoin? It was the belle of the ball. Even Ethereum got left at the altar with $161m in outflows. Solana and XRP? Modest gains. Who cares? 💸

Institutional Inflows Support the Bitcoin Price Rally

BlackRock’s IBIT fund raked in $324m in a week. Meanwhile, institutional investors probably asked, “Is Bitcoin a currency or a geopolitical stress ball?” Either way, they’re buying. 💸

The crypto market cap jumped $90b in 24 hours. Traders now watch $94k like it’s the last slice of pizza at a family reunion. 🍕

Related Reading: Bitcoin Likely to Stay Above $90K Following Venezuela Military Strike

Energy Stocks and Oil Markets React to the News

Oil prices fell to $57/barrel despite Trump’s promise to let Chevron and Valero rebuild Venezuela. Because nothing says “economic stability” like giving oil companies a blank check. 🛢️

Chevron Corporation is the only oil company working in Venezuela right now

– Bourbon Insider Research (@BourbonInsider)

Venezuela’s oil reserves? Trillions! Trump insisted private companies will handle it, which means “no taxpayer money” and “maximum profit for friends.” Chevron stock jumped 11%, because why not? 📈

This energy battle is a geopolitical chess match. The U.S. wants to undermine Russia and China? Great! Just don’t expect anyone to explain it in a way that makes sense. 🌍

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2026-01-05 15:02