Behold, dear reader, as Trump Media & Technology Group, with the grace of a circus elephant in a teacup, announces a $2 billion Bitcoin purchase—just days after President Trump signed crypto legislation so historic it makes a Victorian scandal look mundane. One must wonder if this is financial strategy or merely a lavish game of Monopoly with real money. 🐘💸
Trump Media: Now Third in Bitcoin Hoarding, Behind Giants and a Company Named “MARA”
Trump Media, custodian of the illustrious Truth Social platform, now boasts the third-largest corporate Bitcoin stash in America. A noble feat, trailing only MicroStrategy (with $63 billion—because who doesn’t want to outspend a tech titan?) and MARA Holdings ($5 billion). Truly, a testament to the art of the deal. 🏆
The company also invested $300 million in Bitcoin options, as CEO Devin Nunes declared war on “discrimination by financial institutions” against conservatives. A charming blend of paranoia and opulence, one might say. After all, what’s a multi-billion-dollar Bitcoin hoard if not a hedge against the tyranny of… *checks notes*… *bank fees*? 🚨
“Bitcoin,” Nunes proclaimed, “is an apex instrument of financial freedom.” How poetic, when one considers that financial freedom often begins with a stable income and ends with a stable mental health professional. 🧠
Fundraising in May: A Masterclass in Capital Raising (and Investor Courage)
Trump Media’s fundraising escapade in May 2025 was nothing short of a modern-day Robin Hood tale—except the bandits wore suits and sold $2.32 billion in stock and bonds to institutional investors. At the time, Bitcoin hovered near $110,000 per coin, which would have fetched 22,500 tokens. One imagines the investors’ excitement as they exchanged cash for crypto, like children trading jellybeans for gold doubloons. 🍬💰
The company now stores its Bitcoin with Anchorage Digital and Crypto.com, a partnership as reliable as a Victorian poet promising to write sonnets. Later this year, they’ll launch crypto funds—because nothing says “trust us” like a new venture from a company that hasn’t yet revealed its exact Bitcoin holdings. 🤷♂️
Congress’s “Crypto Week”: A Farce in Five Acts (and 10 Hours of Voting)
While Trump Media indulged in crypto excess, Congress staged a week-long opera of political theater dubbed “Crypto Week.” The House debated three bills, including the GENIUS Act—a name so grand it belongs on a superhero. This legislation, which regulates stablecoins, passed 308-122, proving bipartisan cooperation exists when the prize is a stablecoin. 🎭
President Trump signed the bill on July 18, cementing his legacy as the first U.S. leader to enshrine crypto into law. Meanwhile, the CLARITY Act, which will likely be rewritten by the Senate, and a bill banning the Fed from creating a digital dollar, added to the chaos. A week of governance so dramatic, it makes Shakespeare weep. 🎩
Political Drama: Conservatives Rebel, Trump Mediates, and Democracy Survives (Barely)
The crypto bills nearly collapsed under the weight of conservative rebellion. Twelve Republicans initially refused to cooperate, forcing House Speaker Mike Johnson to cancel votes and send holdouts to the White House for a pep talk. Trump, ever the showman, posted on Truth Social: “Republicans have all agreed to vote.” A reminder that democracy is best served with a side of Twitter theatrics. 📢
The House then held a 10-hour voting marathon—a testament to either endurance or boredom. Some Republicans even opposed last-minute amendments to appease their own party. One wonders if the true purpose of “Crypto Week” was to test the limits of human patience. ⏳
Trump Family’s Crypto Empire: Profit, Politics, and a Stablecoin Named “USD1”
The Trump family, ever the shrewd investors, owns a slice of World Liberty Financial, which launched the USD1 stablecoin. In 2024 alone, they raked in $57.35 million from token sales, bringing their total to a cool $500 million. One must admire the artistry of turning digital tokens into real-world wealth—especially when Congress blesses it with a law that excludes the president from anti-corruption rules. 😏
Democrats, predictably, called the legislation a “green light for corruption,” while the GENIUS Act banned Congress from profiting off stablecoins. A noble gesture, though one wonders why the president deserves special treatment. Perhaps it’s a matter of tradition—or simply the price of power. 🎖️
What’s Next? More Bitcoin, More Drama, and a Crypto Market That Loves a Scandal
Trump Media plans to keep buying Bitcoin, developing a Truth Social utility token, and launching crypto funds via Crypto.com. Meanwhile, the CLARITY Act awaits Senate approval, and Senate Banking Committee Chairman Tim Scott hopes to finalize crypto laws by September 30. Whether this succeeds remains as clear as a stablecoin’s future. 🌫️
The crypto market, ever the drama queen, hit $4 trillion after the legislation passed. Trump Media’s purchase proves corporations are rushing to embrace crypto under the new framework. As Trump dreams of making America the “crypto capital of the planet,” one can’t help but ask: Is this a revolution, or just a very expensive party? 🎉🌍
Read More
- SOL PREDICTION. SOL cryptocurrency
- ETH PREDICTION. ETH cryptocurrency
- EUR AUD PREDICTION
- WLD PREDICTION. WLD cryptocurrency
- EUR USD PREDICTION
- USD CLP PREDICTION
- Gold Rate Forecast
- TON PREDICTION. TON cryptocurrency
- Brent Oil Forecast
- EUR CNY PREDICTION
2025-07-21 22:49