Trump’s Crypto Blunder: Bitcoin MIA in Shocking Snub! πŸ˜‚

Well, folks, the White House finally unleashed their long-hyped report on digital assets, and guess what? It’s like they completely forgot about Trump’s big dream of a Bitcoin stockpile. You know, that plan he cooked up earlier this year to make America the crypto king by hoarding BTC like it’s candy corn. 😜 Total ghosting move.

Back in the day, Trump signed an executive order pushing for a Bitcoin stash and a full-on digital asset reserve. But this new report from the Working Group on Digital Asset Markets? Crickets on that front. It’s like they decided to pivot hard without even a courtesy text. Rude. πŸ“΅

SEC and CFTC: Time to Get Your Act Together, Pronto

The real meat here is all about slapping some order on the crypto chaos. They’re pushing for regulatory tweaks to make oversight less of a mess and innovation less of a gamble. Top recommendation? Begging Congress to pass the Digital Asset Market Clarity Act, handing the CFTC the reins over spot markets for non-security crypto stuff. Because apparently, we need a law to figure out who’s in charge of digital doodads. πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ

Oh, and they’re not waiting aroundβ€”they’re telling the CFTC and SEC to drop some clear rules right now on trading, registration, custody, and keeping records straight, all with their existing powers. No dilly-dallying! The group even waxed poetic, saying, “Implementing this will let us lead the blockchain revolution and kick off the Golden Age of Crypto.” Sure, because nothing screams ‘golden age’ like more paperwork and fewer surprises. πŸ“œπŸ’Ό

“By implementing these recommendations, policymakers can ensure that the United States leads the blockchain revolution and ushers in the Golden Age of Crypto.” – Said with a straight face, probably. 😏

DeFi Gets a High-Five, Stablecoins Are the New Cool, CBDCs? Hard Pass

DeFi is getting some love too, with endorsements for regulatory sandboxes and safe harbors to speed up getting financial gadgets to consumers. And stablecoins are stealing the show, especially after Trump signed that GENIUS Act thing. The report’s all aboard for USD-backed stablecoins to keep the dollar boss in digital land. But CBDCs? Hard no, echoing Trump’s anti-CBDC vibes and that surveillance state ban he pushed. Privacy win? Or just more drama? πŸ€”

They’re also diving into crypto banking, demanding clarity on bank charters and what’s kosher for banks to dabble in. And tax-wise? Treat digital assets like their own quirky category, with fresh rules on wash sales and minimum tax. Plus, they’re nudging the Treasury and IRS to update guidance on mining and staking. Because who doesn’t love the IRS crashing the crypto party? Taxes: the ultimate buzzkill. πŸ’ΈπŸ˜ 

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2025-07-30 17:46