On the cold, indifferent day of January the fourteenth, Vitalik Buterin-our charming prophet-proclaimed that the grand blueprint of Web3 is finally laid bare, its promise no longer a whisper but a roar in the night. The sacred prerequisites are in place, as if the universe itself conspired to make decentralized dreams come true-at least, that’s what he hopes, with a wink and a nudge. 😏✨
With a 24-hour volatility dancing at 7.0% and a market cap staggering over four hundred billion dollars-because, why not?-the co-founder beseeched developers to stop chasing mere speculations and start constructing resilient, decentralized applications that could actually-haha-protect user rights forever. Ah, the dream of a safe, user-empowered web! 😅
In his lengthy manifesto, the sage announced that the ecosystem has (finally!) cracked the code on scaling and privacy-no more excuses, folks. The breakthroughs of zero-knowledge Ethereum Virtual Machines (ZK-EVMs) and Layer-2 relievers are the new heroes, tipping the scales of progress. Or so he claims, with a twinkle in his eye. 😎
“Back in 2014, there was a vision: a permissionless, decentralized web supporting finance, social media, ride-sharing, government, crowdfunding-an alternative universe built on tech. Maybe even a utopia… or just a really complicated tech stack.”
– vitalik.eth (@VitalikButerin) January 14, 2026
He insists that these shiny new tools now empower the network to host high-performance applications across areas as diverse as finance, social media, and governance-without the pesky middlemen or centralized overlords. Just pure, unadulterated blockchain magic. 🎩✨
“Hammers” vs. “Corposlop” – The Ultimate Software Showdown 🎯
Buterin, in his infinite wisdom, contrasted the noble “hammers”-tools bought once, owned forever, non- spying, no accounts needed, the eternal classics-with the sinister “corposlop” software. You know, those malicious entities that surveil you like a nosy neighbor, lock features behind subscriptions, and could turn off your “service” faster than you can say “profit.” Because who needs freedom when you have cloud-based chainsaws? 😜🔧
The Age of Maturity: Proof Is in the Protocols 🛠️
To bolster his argument, Vitalik pointed to real, working protocols: Waku, that privacy-loving messaging layer, and Fileverse, the decentralized workspace that’s been making users smile more than cats on the Internet. The cherry on top? Fileverse now passes the “walkaway test”-a grim obstacle for apps that might disappear faster than your last diet. Even if the developers vanish, the app lives on, like a ghost in the machine. Scary? Maybe. Ludicrous? Definitely. 😅
This declaration echoes his earlier comparisons of Ethereum to Linux and BitTorrent-built not for profit, but as a neutral, everlasting infrastructure. Because what’s more eternal than code that outlives its creators? 💾🧱
Market Melancholy-Ethereum Takes a Small Dive 🐠
As of Jan. 14, Ethereum delicately dropped to $3,284 from its peak of $3,350-a modest 1.96% slide, nothing to cry about. Over the past 24 hours, a whirlwind volume of $36.36 billion whirled through the market, up 66.9%, proving once again that investors love a good rollercoaster. 🎢
5-day chart with EMA and RSI indicators showcase ETH’s oversold status – because even markets need a nap now and then. | Source: Trading View
Ethereum claims about 11% of the total crypto market-worth over three trillion dollars because complexity is delicious, and everyone loves a good etymology. Or so they say.
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2026-01-14 18:56