XRP Briefly Hits $3! But Will Crypto Make Us Rich or Just More Anxious?

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Dear Diary (and anyone else who dreams of getting rich with absolutely no work): So, plot twist of the century, $XRP decided to try on the $3 dress for a few hours, absolutely slayed, then promptly changed back into sweatpants just beneath that mark. Bull run revival or another flirty tease before ghosting us again? Frankly, my crypto FOMO is reaching Olympic levels. 🥲

Now, slap on your government-issue sunglasses, because the White House has parachuted into the chat with a shiny new crypto policy report. Even better, $RLUSD’s market cap is now so plump it could probably afford avocados on toast without flinching. (Millennials rejoice.)

All this positive news has everyone’s inner-trader hopping about like they’ve mainlined six oat milk lattes, especially for new coins: Bitcoin Hyper ($HYPER) and Snorter Token ($SNORT), which, let’s face it, sound like things you’d order in a Shoreditch bar.

Ruling from the Top, $RLUSD Bulks Up, and $XRP Gets Ideas Above Its Station

To the shock of absolutely no one who’s watched Ripple’s endless SEC slanging match, $XRP is making a run, presumably because Ripple Labs is inching closer to closing that legal drama. Popcorn at the ready.

On July 30, the White House dropped its much-hyped crypto report and, apparently, the CFTC will get the keys to the spot crypto kingdom while the SEC gets told to go touch grass. In trading circles, this is being hailed as a free pass for Ripple and its not-at-all-confusing $XRP.

Meanwhile, $RLUSD hitting a $600 million market cap is enough to make even your tightest relative unclench their purse. Since you need $XRP to pay fees on the XRP ledger, some clever mechanism means more $XRP gets burned. Turns out, setting coins on fire is good for value. Love that for us.

Result: $XRP strutted around above $3 for a hot minute and is allegedly up 3.74%. Somewhere, someone is buying celebratory doughnuts.

3 Cryptos with Potential—Or Reasons For Therapy Bills

With Bitcoin crying in a corner and $ETH and $XRP putting on a brave face (1.93% and 3.74% up—no one’s quitting the day job yet), the stage is set for obscure coins to step in and audition for your hard-earned cash. If you like stress and adventure, try these, darling:

1. Bitcoin Hyper ($HYPER): Imagine Bitcoin, but caffeinated, on roller skates. Promises Solana-level performance (fast and smooth), only without the existential dread. $6.6 million raised so far, proving people will throw money at anything that hints at “Layer 2” and “speed.” Current price: $0.012525, plus you can stake and hope for 156% p.a. rewards or dream of a 2,683% run-up that will definitely pay for that trip to Bali.

2. Snorter Token ($SNORT): “Snorting” new coins was once just embarrassing slang, but now it’s a legitimate investment strategy! This project is for anyone overwhelmed by endless coins and scams—i.e., everyone. The Snorter Bot (on Telegram because that’s where crypto’s wild west lives) will let you buy, manage and, via anti-scam powers, help you avoid rugpulls. $SNORT unlocks all features; current price $0.1003. Staking brings 157% p.a. returns, allegedly. Just don’t ask your accountant.

3. Bitcoin Penguins ($BPENGU): Not content with just animal-themed NFTs, we now have tokenized penguins, because why not. Launches July 28 to August 27, in 15 frantic stages. Early buyers feel smug, everyone else refreshes the price page and questions their life choices. $BPENGU is at $0.00122 now, but will go up in 20 hours, leaving you with genuine FOMO (and possibly a small army of pixelated penguins to your name). Listing day: September 2.

So… Are We Getting Rich or Just Distracted?

$XRP’s latest rally has everyone on crypto Twitter cautiously updating their trading apps (and quietly stalking meme accounts for coping strategies). Optimists say a new surge is nigh; the rest of us just want to skip to the part where we’re lounging on a beach and not explaining DeFi to our parents. The White House’s report and those $RLUSD billions might actually give $XRP a rocket. Or maybe it’ll fizzle out and the next Snorter or penguin thing will take center stage.

Disclaimer: If you take financial advice from someone who writes about penguin coins, you’re officially braver than Bridget Jones after three margaritas. Please do your own research; YOLO has consequences. 🐧🍸

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2025-08-04 15:45