XRP Crumbles Like Soviet Bureaucracy-Will It Survive $2.00? 😱📉

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In the grim, flickering candlelight of the global crypto markets, XRP-once hailed as the people’s coin-stumbles once more below $2.120, dragging its chain like a prison inmate in Kolyma. Now it crawls toward $2.20, that Promised Land it has touched only to be smitten by the wrath of resistance.

  • XRP launched yet another futile charge below $2.20-less a rally, more a last gasp of hope before the gulag of bearishness looms.
  • The price now languishes beneath $2.20 and the sacred 100-hourly SMA-a holy relic said to foretell prosperity (spoiler: it hasn’t).
  • Behold! A break above a so-called “connecting bearish trend line” at $2.10! A victory! Or perhaps just the sun reflecting off a puddle of melted snow in May.
  • Should XRP remain a prisoner under $2.20, the descent into the abyss-$2.080, then $2.050-will proceed with bureaucratic inevitability.

XRP Attempts Redemption (Again)

Like a dissident briefly pardoned by a capricious commissar, XRP dared to rise above $2.25. But hope was crushed swiftly. With all the grace of a collapsing tractor factory, it plunged-past $2.20, past $2.150, into the sub-basement of bearish sentiment.

At $2.063, it paused-perhaps to catch its breath, or perhaps to await sentencing. A minor rally followed: a break above $2.120, even a crack at the Fibonacci ghosts of trends past. The 23.6% retracement was breached! Champagne corks (metaphorical, of course) were uncorked in dimly lit crypto chat rooms. 🍾

But the revolution was canceled. The price remains shackled below $2.20 and the 100-hourly SMA-the two sentinels of mediocrity. Resistance at $2.1680 looms. Then $2.20. Breach that, and-miracles!-$2.240 and the 50% retracement could beckon. A utopia! Or at least a slightly less cold cell.

Should XRP break $2.280-a number as mystical as Lenin’s birthdate-it might stagger toward $2.320. Then $2.350. Then, in fever dreams, $2.40. But let us not forget: last time we dreamed of $2.40, the dog ate our homework and the exchange froze our account. 🐶💼

Or Maybe It Just Collapses (Again)

If XRP fails-again-to conquer $2.20, the descent resumes. Initial support? $2.080. A name as cold and unfeeling as a Siberian winter. Then $2.050. A close below that? Prepare the sled. We’re heading for $2.00-the psychological gulag of the masses.

And beneath? $1.9650. Then $1.880-a number so low, it might as well be the daily bread ration in a forgotten outpost of the Perm-36 camp. ⛓️

Technical Indicators

Hourly MACD – The MACD crawls through the bearish zone like a broken tractor in January. No momentum. Only groaning metal. 🚜

Hourly RSI (Relative Strength Index) – Below 50. As lifeless as a Party functionary’s handshake. No strength, only compliance.

Major Support Levels – $2.080 and $2.050. The last bunkers before the ice closes in.

Major Resistance Levels – $2.1680 and $2.240. Mountains guarded by capitalist eagles. Or something. 🦅

And so, comrades, we wait. Will XRP rise like a phoenix from the ashes of whale manipulation? Or will it sink, as all things eventually do, into the frozen marsh of irrelevance? Stay frosty. Stay skeptical. And for God’s sake, stop dollar-cost averaging in a propaganda bubble. ❄️🪪

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2026-01-09 07:19