Bitcoin Takes a Tumble: Is Crypto’s Party Over? 🎉💸

by

By Omkar Godbole (All times ET unless you’re living in Narnia)

Ah, yes, the crypto market is having one of those days-like when your cat knocks over your favorite plant and then stares at you like you’re the bad guy. Bitcoin has decided to take a little dip under $115,000, while ether (ETH) seems determined to join the pity party at $4,220. Why? Because apparently, everyone’s waiting for Fed Chairman Jerome Powell to say something profound at Jackson Hole later this week. Spoiler alert: He probably won’t.

The CoinDesk 20 Index-which sounds like a boy band but isn’t-has dropped more than 4.5% in the past 24 hours. Bitcoin? Well, it’s now chilling below its 50-day simple moving average, which is just fancy talk for “things are getting awkward.” And let’s not forget ether, where on-chain data suggests $4,170 might as well be labeled “Danger Zone.” 🚨📉

“More than $400 million in long positions were liquidated overnight,” QCP Capital helpfully reminded us, as if we needed another reason to cry into our coffee. This comes after last week’s 5% pullback, which wiped out over $1 billion in DeFi liquidations. Funding rates have turned negative, meaning people are hoarding puts faster than I hoard snacks during tax season. Cautious positioning ahead of Jackson Hole? You don’t say!

And speaking of drama, ether also dealt with a record validator exit queue, with 855,158 tokens worth over $3.5 billion trying to make a run for it. Meanwhile, BlackRock’s ether ETF (ETHA) had a record trading volume of 364.25 million shares. So basically, some folks are buying, others are fleeing-it’s like high school all over again. 😅

Token Events That Sound Like Reality TV Episodes

  • SoSoValue DAO: Voting to allocate 5 million SOSO tokens for a Researcher Ecosystem Fund. Because nothing says “fun” like competing for crypto research glory. Ends Aug. 18.
  • Uniswap DAO: Allocating $540,000 in UNI to top delegates who’ve been good little community members. Ends Aug. 18.
  • Aavegotchi DAO: Deciding whether to sponsor Bitcoin Ben’s Crypto Club Las Vegas or get a Graffiti Wall mural. Either way, someone’s going home happy. Ends Aug. 23.

Conferences: Where Nerds Go to Network 🤓

The CoinDesk Policy & Regulation conference is happening on Sept. 10 in Washington. It’s your chance to rub elbows with regulatory bigwigs-or at least pretend you understand what they’re talking about. Use code CDB10 for 10% off because even nerds love discounts.

Market Movements: The Numbers Nobody Asked For 💻

  • BTC is down 1.84% from Friday at $115,205.89 (24hrs: -2.73%)
  • ETH is down 2.75% at $4,305.90 (24hrs: -5.77%)
  • CoinDesk 20 is down 1.93% at 4,057.54 (24hrs: -4.56%)

Technical Analysis: Charts That Look Like Modern Art 🖼️

  • The dollar index (DXY) failed to break through resistance at 99.58. In layman’s terms: It tripped over its shoelaces and fell flat on its face. Selling pressure remains strong, so maybe don’t bet your life savings on it anytime soon.

Crypto Equities: Stocks That Make You Go Hmm 🤔

  • MicroStrategy (MSTR): Closed Friday at $366.32 (-1.78%). Pre-market? Down further to $358.90. Ouch.
  • Coinbase Global (COIN): Down 2.26% at close, slipping another 1.78% pre-market. Someone should really check on Brian Armstrong.

Chart of the Day: Altcoins Are Wilder Than My Aunt at Family Reunions 🐒

  • The bitcoin-to-altcoin liquidations ratio peaked in November and has been plummeting ever since. Translation: Altcoins are wild, reckless, and frankly, kind of entertaining.

Siamak Masnavi contributed reporting. Probably while wearing a tinfoil hat. ✨

Read More

2025-08-18 15:29