Oh, honey, grab your popcorn because this is *chef’s kiss*. A once-legendary trader just face-planted harder than I did trying to parallel park. This guy went from “I’m basically Warren Buffett in a hoodie” to “Can I Venmo you for a coffee?” in record time. 😂
So, this hotshot turned $125k into $29.6M in four months by going *irresponsibly* long on Ethereum. Yes, you read that right. Irresponsibly. Because nothing says “financial genius” like putting all your eggs in one volatile basket. 🥚💥
He compounded his profits like a boss, eventually stacking up a whopping $303M in ETH. Peak profit? $43M. Peak ego? Probably off the charts. But then, plot twist! The market said, “Not today, Satan,” and his profits started melting faster than my willpower around cake. 🍰
On Aug. 18, he closed his longs with a $6.9M profit. Not bad, right? Wrong. Because this guy’s greed had more sequels than the Marvel Cinematic Universe. He reopened his ETH long, and *boom*-the market crash hit. Now his account is worth $771k. Ouch. That’s like going from “I’m buying a yacht” to “I’m eating instant ramen” real quick. 🚀 ➡️ 🍜
Sure, he’s still at 5X, but let’s be real-this guy’s probably crying into his cryptocurrency wallet. 😭💸
The 16% Oopsie
Ethereum was on a bender last July, surging 49%. ETFs, corporate adoption-it was all rainbows and unicorns. 🌈🦄 Then August came, and ETH peaked at $4,791. Almost an all-time high! But then, *plot twist*, the rally stalled, and ETH plunged to $4,064. That’s a 16% correction, or as I like to call it, “the universe reminding us it’s in charge.” 🌌
Moral of the story? Don’t get greedy, kids. And maybe, just maybe, diversify. Unless you’re into the whole “losing millions” aesthetic. 🤷♀️✨
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2025-08-20 10:28