Crypto Market Stabilizes? Or Is It Just a Midlife Crisis? 💸

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So, it’s been a whole month since the crypto market had a meltdown so epic, even your grandma’s stock portfolio is still recovering. But hey, at least the drama isn’t over yet! 🤯

Bybit and Block Scholes just released a report saying traders are “cautiously finding stability.” Which, in crypto terms, probably means they’re just waiting for the next disaster to hit. 🕵️‍♀️

Bybit found out that the “notional open interest” in perpetual contracts is still stuck under $10 billion. Because nothing says “excitement” like a number that’s basically a parking meter. 🚗

The U.S. and China finally stopped yelling at each other, but then Jerome Powell came in with his “I’m a grumpy old man” vibe, and suddenly everyone’s sad again. 😢

Bitcoin dropped to $107k, which is like a 10% discount on a Tesla, but nobody’s buying. 🚗💨

Bitcoin and Ethereum‘s volatility skews are now all “downside bias”-which is just a fancy way of saying “we’re all just waiting for the next crash.” 🧨

Futures are flat, but options are up. Because nothing says “I’m prepared for disaster” like buying options. 🛡️

Traders are buying puts like they’re going out of style. Because why be optimistic when you can be paranoid? 😤

Traders are like, “I’ll raise the volatility if it means I don’t have to lose money.” 🤷‍♀️

BTC is stuck in its “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed” range. 💸

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2025-11-10 00:40