Dogecoin Creator Reacts as Crypto Jumps on New ‘Helicopter Money’ Rumor

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Well, well, well. Look who’s back in the news – the cryptocurrency market, that fickle beast! And this time, it’s not due to some wild conspiracy theory or a fresh batch of ETF paperwork. Nope, this time it’s because of a juicy rumor about “helicopter money” falling from the skies like confetti at a New Year’s party. But instead of excitement about free money, the market jumped like a kid at a candy store – and then promptly regretted it.

Bitcoin? Oh, it went from $101,000 to $104,000 in the blink of an eye, before calming down again like a toddler who had one too many Red Bulls. Dogecoin? That hopped up almost 5% too, but by the time you could say “Doge to the moon,” it faded away faster than my interest in a 2-hour Zoom meeting.

i do like how this rumor made crypto go up briefly since everyone knows it’ll be used stupidly

– Shibetoshi Nakamoto (@BillyM2k) November 13, 2025

Enter Billy Markus, the self-appointed Dogecoin guru and creator, dropping some truth bombs. Because, let’s be honest, when has money that’s just been handed out ever been used wisely? Billy here knew what was up: the whole crypto market’s little sugar rush was about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

The drama started when some financial newsletters (who are probably on a first-name basis with ‘Speculation’) suggested that people earning under $100k might get $2,000 from the government. No, not a magical minting of fresh cash – but close enough to get the rumor mill churning. And people, of course, thought, “Why not throw that straight into crypto?” Because that’s what you do with unexpected money, right? Buy something that fluctuates wildly and will probably make you cry in the long run?

The Numbers

Now, to be fair, the numbers didn’t lie – for a while. BTC trading volumes on Binance jumped from $8.3 billion to $11.1 billion. The funding rates slipped negative for half a day (fancy!). Bitcoin even clawed back $3,000 from its recent lows. But here’s the twist – all this happened without any major news. I mean, I could run a lemonade stand and make more noise than that.

But then, just like that, the excitement evaporated faster than your hopes for a summer body. Bitcoin is still stuck in a tight range of $98,900-$106,200, way below its glory days of nearly $118,000 in late October. And Dogecoin, well, despite a brief “pump,” is still 22% under its recent peak. That’s like getting your hopes up for a big date and then realizing it’s just your mom asking if you want dinner.

And as for derivatives liquidations? $58 million – a whole lot of nothing to get excited about, unless you’re in the market for a slightly overhyped Friday evening. Meanwhile, stablecoin inflows barely budged, ticking up just 0.7% for the week. Gasp. Riveting stuff.

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2025-11-13 14:28