Behold, from the quiet heart of Ohio, a congressman emerges, bearing a vision as quixotic as any old-world dreamer-“the Bitcoin for America” bill, a curious proposition to let citizens surrender their tax burdens in BTC. The Reserve, that mythical hoard, would claim the digital gold, a shimmering embrace of BTC, now tax-sanctioned. Ah, how the bureaucrats dance to the rhythm of futuristic drumbeats!
This endeavor, with its meek hope to benefit from Bitcoin’s long-term appreciation, reads like a poet’s sonnet about the futility of money. One must wonder: will the Treasury’s coffers turn to treasure or tumble into the abyss of cypherpunk whimsy?
Bitcoin Taxes: A Capital Gainless Lament 🤷♀️
On Thursday, the honorable Mr. Davidson, that bugbear of fiscal innovation, proffered a decree: let taxpayers purge their incomes in BTC, escape the clutches of capital gains. The Treasury, ever the roguish gambler, would then deposit these digital coins of fate into its Strategic Bitcoin Reserve. The goal? To fortify the country’s long-term financial resilience as a global leader in digital assets-a noble quest or a reckless folly, one might ask. 🤷♂️
“By authorizing the acceptance of Federal taxes in Bitcoin,” writes the document with a flourish, “the United States shall diversify its national wealth into non-inflationary assets, a bulwark against currency devaluation and global volatility.” sigh One can almost hear the cannons of inflation retreating…
The bill, with its tone of imperial urgency, channels the evils of China and Russia, both frantically hoarding Bitcoin, one suspects, “to hedge against global instability.” Will America, asleep at the helm, now awaken to vie for this digital crown? Or will it succumb to the hibernation of innovation? 🐘
Benefits of Bitcoin Tax Payments: A Delusion or Ode? 🎭
Payment in BTC, advocates trumpet, will “broaden financial access” for the unbanked, as if Bitcoin is a divine liberal-forgiving, egalitarian. Yet one imagines winter in Siberia, where the unbanked “participate in the financial system” with little more than a mobile signal and a prayer. 📲❄️
Placing BTC into the Reserve, that fabled asset, is to claim “structural scarcity” with a fixed supply of 21 million coins. A self-sustaining fiscal mechanism it may be; perhaps it will outlast the Statue of Liberty. Or perhaps it will crumble like a poorly encrypted cookie 🍪. The US, it seems, seeks a “financial foundation for future generations”, an odd lie to consume at the bar.
“This bill,” declared Rep. Davidson, “will modernize our financial systems, embracing innovation that millions already use daily.” cough The innovation, perhaps, is not using daily, but hoarding daily in a hamster wheel of speculation. 🐀💸
Trump’s Bitcoin Reserve: A Digital El Dorado? 🏰
President Trump, that maestro of populist prophecy, once pledged to reinforce U.S. leadership in digital realms. A grand promise! Shortly after assuming office, he signed an executive order as if signing a digital contract with the fates. A Republican Congressman (Begich, with a name like that) then legislated 200,000 BTC to be accumulated, locked away for 20 years-a digital time capsule of uncertainty. One wonders: will it emerge as digital gold or a bin of obsolete microchips? 🕳️
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2025-11-23 09:39