Oh, darlings, gather ’round – it seems our dear old MicroStrategy, once the toast of the crypto town, is now teetering on the brink of an entirely different kind of crash, and not the kind you’d enjoy at a rollercoaster ride. The latest saga involves Bitcoin taking a nosedive into the $84,000 wilderness, bringing our beloved billionaire balloon to the edge of the red – only a modest 30% plunge from its treasure trove of 649,870 BTC. A smidge terrifying, isn’t it? But relax, they’re still twirling their canes and claiming all is well. 💅
Strategy’s Bitcoin Stash In Trouble? Well, Bless Their Hearts! 😅
Last week, dear Peter Schiff – the economist with the charm of a rainy day – decided to wag his finger at Saylor & Co., questioning whether their digital dreams could withstand the storm. Schiff, blunt as ever, declared that the entire scheme of issuing preferred stocks to buy Bitcoin might just be a spectacular house of cards. Apparently, the business model hinges on income funds happily swallowing preferred shares while MicroStrategy stacks their digital chips – sounds romantic, no? 💸
In a post (probably with a cig in hand), Schiff mused that once fund managers recognition dawns that the promised yields are as mythical as a unicorn, they’d start shedding their holdings faster than last season’s fashion. This, he warns, could spark a ‘death spiral’ that no one wants to be caught in, darling! 🚨
The company, ever the brave little toaster, responded with a long runway – a nifty 71 years of dividend coverage at current Bitcoin prices, assuming no further drops. Ahem, as if! They even boasted that a mere 1.41% rise in Bitcoin would cover their dividends – as though that’s the kind of confidence one raises a glass to. 🍸
Yet Schiff, with his usual sarcasm, isn’t convinced. After all, darling, if Bitcoin crashes a staggering 90%, the stock would likely trade at a bonkers discount, making all those losses swell like a soufflé gone wrong. And our friends at MicroStrategy? Well, they could be heading for a very long, very lonely alley of losses. 🎩
Meanwhile, in the real world – and quite happily so! – Bitcoin still lounges above $80,000. MicroStrategy’s impressive stash is still in the black, with a cool 16% profit, totaling over $5 billion. Quite the party, wouldn’t you say? Check out the snapshot of their treasure trove:
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2025-11-24 09:13