Crypto Cards Beat P2P? Oh, Come On! 😒

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Crypto-linked card payments have somehow overtaken peer-to-peer [P2P] stablecoin transfers as the “big kahuna” of stablecoin activity. Because, sure, why not? According to Artemis-yes, that blockchain analytics firm-this is now a thing. 🙄

The report, with its very serious title Stablecoin Payments at Scale: How Cards Bridge Digital Assets and Global Commerce (yawn), claims crypto cards are now more popular than wallet-to-wallet payments. Because, apparently, people prefer swiping plastic over typing long crypto addresses. Who knew?

Artemis says crypto card payments hit a $15 billion monthly run rate, while P2P transfers are lagging behind at a measly $11 billion. Wow, what a shocker. People love convenience-more at 11. 🎤

P2P is still growing, but card payments are racing ahead like a guy who just realized his Uber is double-parked. Merchants accepting crypto cards? Sure, why not. Existing payment rails? Even better. It’s almost like people don’t want to deal with blockchain nonsense. 🤯

Cards: The “Front Door” of Stablecoins (Because No One Wants the Back Alley)

Stablecoins aren’t replacing traditional payments-oh no, that would be too disruptive. Instead, they’re sneaking in through card networks like a ninja in a Visa logo. 🥷

The report says most stablecoin-backed card transactions settle through big-name card processors. So, users get to spend their “digital dollars” without merchants having to learn what a blockchain is. Brilliant.

Visa is crushing it with 80% of stablecoin card volume, while Mastercard is… there, I guess. Regional cards? Barely a blip. This whole setup lets stablecoins pretend they’re part of the normal financial system without actually being normal. Clever. 👏

P2P Payments: Still a Thing, But Growing Like a Tortoise on Xanax

P2P transfers aren’t dead-they’re just… evolving (read: growing slower than a DMV line). They’re still big in remittances and cross-border stuff, especially in places where banks are, let’s say, less than reliable. 🌍

But compared to card payments? P2P is like the guy at the party who brought hummus when everyone else brought pizza. Nice effort, but… 🍕

Stablecoins: Now With More “Normal People” Features!

The report calls this shift “interface-led adoption,” which is just a fancy way of saying: People don’t want to deal with blockchain crap. Stablecoins are still doing the heavy lifting, but cards are the shiny front-end that makes it all seem… acceptable. 🎭

This explains why stablecoin volumes keep rising while direct on-chain payments move at the speed of dial-up. It’s almost like people prefer not thinking about gas fees and wallet addresses. Who’d have thought? 🤷‍♂️

Final Thoughts (Because We Need to Wrap This Up)

  • Crypto cards are winning because, duh, people like easy things. P2P is still around, but it’s basically the fax machine of crypto payments. 📠
  • Stablecoins are blending into traditional finance like a spy in a suit-quietly powerful, but no one’s really noticing. Mission accomplished? 🕵️‍♂️

Images retained as per original, because visuals matter, even if the text is ridiculous

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2026-01-16 03:36