Bitmine’s $6.6B ETH Losses: A ‘Feature’ or Financial Folly?

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Bitmine (BMNR), a company whose name alone suggests a fondness for shiny rocks and questionable accounting, has found itself in a spot of bother. Recent reports revealed an unrealised loss of approximately $6.6 billion on its Ethereum holdings, which, if converted to actual paper, would weigh enough to sink a small galleon. Critics, clutching their metaphorical pearls, warned of future selling pressure and price limitations. But fear not! Bitmine Chairman Tom Lee, a man who clearly believes in the power of narrative, insists these losses are perfectly normal. After all, an Ethereum treasury, he explained, is meant to “mirror ETH’s price over the full cycle”-a phrase that sounds suspiciously like a magic trick for turning hope into profit.

Lee, with the optimism of a man who’s just discovered the “I’m fine!” meme, called the losses “a feature, not a bug.” One can only imagine the confused looks from actual bugs, who’ve been reliably buggy for millennia. He compared the situation to index ETFs, which also “show losses in down markets.” Ah yes, because nothing says “long-term strategy” like pretending your losses are just a prelude to a glittering future. Bitmine’s ongoing ETH accumulation, he added, is a masterstroke of patience. Or, as the Agony Aunt of the stock market might say: “If you don’t want to feel the pain, invest in something that doesn’t sound like a cursed cryptocurrency.”

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2026-02-04 10:16