Crypto: A Farce for Humans, a Feast for Machines?

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Haseeb Qureshi, that astute general partner at Dragonfly Capital, has deigned to inform us that crypto, in all its bewildering glory, is not, in fact, intended for the feeble-minded masses. No, it is the machines, those tireless, uncomplaining automatons, who shall inherit the blockchain.

Qureshi Declares Crypto a Misadventure for “Our Society”

In a missive posted to the ever-chattering X, Qureshi dissects the “fantastical delusion” that we, the great unwashed, would ever embrace smart contracts over the tried-and-true legal parchment. How quaint, he muses, that we thought such a thing possible. “Not because the technology is faulty,” he condescends, “but because it is utterly unsuited to our benighted society.”

Ah, the folly of humanity! Crypto, with its labyrinthine risks, its clunky interfaces, and its penchant for draining wallets, is simply too much for our puny brains. Blind signing? Stale approvals? Gas fees? Good heavens, it’s a wonder we haven’t all taken to the fainting couches. Yet, for artificial intelligence, it’s a veritable playground.

Qureshi, with the air of a man who has seen the light, writes:

“And there it is, the great reveal. Crypto, with its unreadable addresses, its QR codes, its event logs, and its footguns-none of it aligns with our primitive notions of money. It’s as if the whole thing were designed for a higher order of being. Oh, wait… it was.”

“An AI agent, you see, does not grow weary. It does not falter. It verifies, it audits, it executes with the precision of a Swiss watch. And, most crucially, it trusts code more than it trusts the law. How very modern.”

Qureshi, who presides over a staggering $4.1 billion at DragonFly, assures us that what we once mistook for bugs-those infuriating quirks of crypto-were, in fact, features. Signs that we, the hapless humans, were never the intended audience.

He foresees a future in which we shall look back with amusement at the notion that humans could ever navigate the blockchain. “In a decade,” he prognosticates, “we shall marvel at our own absurdity. GPS needed the smartphone, TCP/IP needed the browser, and crypto? Well, it seems to have found its soulmate in AI agents.”

FAQ 🤖

  • What did Haseeb Qureshi say about crypto adoption? He insists that crypto is destined for AI agents and machines, not for us mere mortals.
  • Why hasn’t crypto gone mainstream with humans? Because, dear reader, it is too risky and too cumbersome-blind signing, stale approvals, drainers, gas fees, and addresses that resemble ancient runes.
  • Why are AI agents better suited for blockchain and smart contracts? Machines, bless their silicon hearts, can verify, audit, and execute without the inconveniences of fatigue or human error.
  • What’s his long-term prediction for crypto UX? In a mere ten years, he expects us to laugh at the idea that humans ever attempted to operate blockchains directly, as AI steps in as the “missing piece.”

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2026-02-23 00:37