qfx

“It’s Not a Hack, Promise!” 🙄

On this fine September 15, 2025, XRP graces the stage at $3.05, a mere 1.59% dip in its otherwise robust performance. Trading volumes, my dear reader, are as buoyant as a socialite at a champagne reception-$5.75 billion USD, no less. And let us not forget its rank: the third most coveted cryptocurrency, with a market capitalization of $183.6 billion USD. Truly, a star in the firmament of digital assets. 🥂💎

version 23! 🚀

According to a Financial Times report from Sept. 15, this is all in the name of preventing bank deposit outflows. Apparently, the idea of people moving their money from traditional banks to these cryptic digital coins is keeping the Bank of England up at night. Because, you know, if everyone switched to stablecoins, banks would lose their beloved deposits, which means… less lending. A truly catastrophic scenario for anyone who’s ever taken a loan out on their beloved (and probably overpriced) flat.

In this grand farce, the masses turn their gaze to Bitcoin, that elusive siren of the digital realm, as though it were the only lifeboat in a sea of bureaucratic folly. 🌊💰 “To crypto or not to crypto?” they muse, while the Bank of Thailand doth protest too much, methinks. 🧐

And what happened to the poor altcoins, you ask? Well, they all thought it was a splendid idea to join the downward dance, cringing in pain like kids after biting into sour candy! ETH, XRP, and poor little DOGE-oh, don’t get me started on DOGE-plummeted like a rock tossed off a cliff, making a monumental daily drop that left everyone saying, “Oh no, not again!” 😱

The London Stock Exchange Group (LSEG) just dropped a bombshell: They’ve facilitated the very first blockchain transaction for private funds. So, what’s next? Flying cars? 🚗💨

Meanwhile, as the geopolitical storm between Lebanon and Israel takes a siesta, the so-called “safe havens” like Bitcoin and gold find themselves on the receiving end of a sell-off that would make even Jeeves raise an eyebrow. Mix in a dash of Uncle Trump’s tariff tantrums, and voilà – global markets pressure-cooked to perfection.

And of course, where there’s DOGE, there’s its swole cousin, Maxi Doge ($MAXI), ready to crash the party with its protein shake and 1000x leverage dreams. 💪💸

On Sunday, Shibarium fell victim to a flash loan attack on its validator system, which drained about $2.4 million in ether (ETH) and SHIB. The CoinDesk Memecoin Index has dropped 6.6% in the past 24 hours. The broader market CoinDesk 20 Index is down just 2.3%. A tragedy in crypto, or a farce in finance? 🎭