AfD Wants BTC Crowned King of Crypto Amid EU Drama 🐘💰

The German opposition party, the Alternative for Germany (AfD), has escalated its stance on bitcoin (BTC) by filing a motion in the Bundestag (Parliament) calling for two key actions. First, the party wants the German government to exempt BTC from the European Union (EU)’s Markets in Crypto-Assets (MiCA) regulation during its national implementation. It also wants the government to officially recognize the cryptocurrency as a “strategic asset.”

🚨 Bybit & A Bank?! 🤯

Bybit and Anchorage Digital decided to become best buds today. Anchorage, you see, is a perfectly respectable crypto bank in the U.S. of A. They’ve taken charge of bbSOL, which makes it a terribly important, institutional-backed token. It’s like giving your pocket money to a headmaster! This creates a wonderfully orderly way to dabble in staking, very efficient indeed. Important? Oh yes, exceedingly!

Bitcoin’s Big Swoon: What’s Next? 🤯

Bitcoin’s sharp reversal? Blame it on the Fed’s “data-dependent” approach. Like, duh, of course they’re dependent on data! What’s next, they’re gonna start using a compass? 🧭 Powell’s speech? More like a “I’m not saying I’m scared, but I’m definitely not saying I’m not scared” vibe. The market? Totally confused. 🤷‍♂️

Circle’s Arc Testnet: The Crypto Circus Begins with Visa, Mastercard & BlackRock! 🎪🚀

Imagine, over 100 titans of finance, technology, and payments dancing in harmony, all eager to bridge the chasm between old-school banking and the shiny new on-chain cosmos. A veritable feast for the curious and a headache for the skeptics! Circle’s CEO Jeremy Allaire, with a flourish, claims Arc connects every nook and cranny of the global economy, making lending, foreign exchange, and payments as easy as a Sunday stroll – if Sunday involved sub-second finality and dollars, of course.

APAC’s Digital Currency Showdown: CBDC vs Stablecoin-Who’s Winning the Race?

Hong Kong finished testing its digital currency pilot program on October 28th, and Japan’s new stablecoin, JPYC, quickly reached a value of over 50 million yen in just two days. Meanwhile, South Korea cautioned about the potential dangers of stablecoins losing their fixed value, and Australia announced clearer rules for how stablecoins will be regulated on October 29th.

When Hurricanes Hit, Jamaicans Turn to Bitchat: A Tale of Tech and Tempests 🌪️📱

This marvel of modern engineering, which promises encrypted whispers via Bluetooth mesh networks, now perches at No. 2 on Jamaica’s app charts-a feat rivaled only by Zoom Earth, the weather oracle. Thus, the Jamaican soul reveals its priorities: survival demands both forecasts and frantic texts 📵. Two million eight hundred thousand souls, now united by Bluetooth and desperation.

US Prosecutors Go Full Speed Ahead Against Crypto Bros in MEV Bot Case!

On Tuesday, in a dazzling display of courtroom drama at the US District Court for the Southern District of New York, the US prosecutors fired back against an amicus curiae – that’s a fancy term for a brief from someone who isn’t even part of the case but still wants to have their say. This particular brief, filed by Coin Center (a crypto advocacy group), seemed to want to give the brothers a chance to skip away scot-free. The prosecutors? Not impressed. 😡