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In a recent missive on X (formerly known as Twitter), the renowned crypto analyst, Rekt Fencer, boldly declared that Ethereum’s price is “programmed” to soar to the dizzying heights of $15,000. To elucidate his prophetic vision, he kindly provided us with a quintet of reasons that shall, no doubt, set the stage for this meteoric rise.

The bulls, once roaring like lions, now bleat like sheep. Volume rises, but not in triumph-in panic! Sellers slash prices with the precision of a surgeon, or perhaps a butcher. The symmetrical triangle, that geometric tease, promised a breakout. Instead, it delivered a slapstick comedy, leaving SHIB holders trapped in a farce of their own making. 😂

Đà tăng này có thể tiếp tục kéo dài khi Cục Dự trữ Liên bang Mỹ (Fed) bắt đầu cắt giảm lãi suất, như một chú rắn đang lột xác, và Ủy ban Chứng khoán Mỹ (SEC) phê duyệt một số quỹ ETF cho altcoin – hoặc có thể chỉ là một trò đùa của các nhà quản lý. 🧙‍♂️

Once sparking with hope, the Solana ETF dream was suddenly dashed-postponed till October 16, 2025. Turns out, the SEC played the Grinch, snatching away the holiday cheer after Ethereum got its Christmas gift. The traders? Oh, they’re about as happy as a cat at a dog show. The market had whispered a 95% ‘yes,’ and then-bam!-crash. SOL dropped 4.4%, while ETH thought, “Well, I’m still the boss,” soaring to 13.87% dominance from 10.17%. The Altcoin Season Index? Dropped to a sad, lonely 45. 😂

While this might seem like pocket change, we all know that even a tiny fee can shake up the world like a rat in a pigeon coop.

Vietnamese police have finally put an end to the massive PaynetCoin crypto fraud, arresting the masterminds behind this billions-of-dollars Ponzi scheme 🤯. The Phu Tho Provincial Police have dismantled this huge cryptocurrency scam, which had been operating in Vietnam and abroad, luring thousands of investors into its trap 🚨.

SpaceX once again crossed the billion-dollar mark in Bitcoin [BTC] holdings after the cryptocurrency’s price hit a fresh all-time high on 13 August. Because nothing says “I’m a visionary” like holding a bunch of digital coins that might as well be a meme. 🎉

The new law, they say, takes a great leap towards stopping stablecoin issuers from paying interest to holders. But here’s the kicker: it completely misses the point, ignoring other players like exchanges, brokers, or dealers. These crafty fellows can still offer similar incentives, which, in the bankers’ highly knowledgeable opinion, could lure deposits from the good old, reliable, traditional banking system into the wild, unregulated world of stablecoins. And that, my dear friends, could shrink the pool of capital they use to grant loans. A real nightmare! 📉💸

Alas, XRP sought to ascend beyond the $3.30 threshold, yet like Icarus, it faltered at $3.35, its wings scorched by the sun of resistance. A high was forged at $3.35, and the price, in its folly, embarked on a downward spiral, a tragic dance of correction.

On a day most ordinary, Bessent declared to the world via Fox Business that the Treasury, in its wisdom, would refrain from acquiring Bitcoin for the reserve. Little did he suspect this utterance would draw the ire of enthusiasts and cynics alike, who, like Tartuffe at the altar, demanded a contradiction.