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Saylor, not known for modesty or hanging around between gigabytes, claims Bitcoin has historically handed out annualized returns of over 50%. That’s more than your garden-variety stocks and definitely more than your grandma’s savings account-which, frankly, might be as useful as a chocolate teapot. He insists that Bitcoin’s a ‘long-term asset,’ like a fine cheese, but one that actually gains value over time, instead of just smelling funny after a while.

It seems the market has caught a nasty case of the jitters, reacting to the latest U.S. inflation data as if it were a cat confronted with a cucumber. With Bitcoin previously frolicking above key resistance levels, this sell-off serves as a stark reminder that the market is as sensitive as a debutante at her first ball. 💃

But wait-what’s this? The price, that mischievous scamp, drops 9.61% down to a measly $0.94. A sudden tumble, like a clumsy bear tripping over his own paws! It flirted flirtatiously at $1.10, then took a nosedive. Resistance here? Of course-at $1.10, the stubborn bastard! Meanwhile, traders clutch their mugs, wondering if this is a dip or the beginning of the end. ☕🐻

Crypto Dream (a charming fellow, truly) has identified the $19-$20 range as the spicy little hurdle that UNI needs to vault over. Crossing this will, naturally, be as dramatic as a curtain call, but don’t get too carried away – after the applause, a gentle dip (a correction, if you will) to more humble levels is quite inevitable. Naturally, darling, growth isn’t a straight corridor but more of a whimsical rollercoaster, complete with scattered dips to keep us on our toes. 🎢

And wait! There’s more! Enter the “Proto Fleet,” a big, open-source, whiz-bang platform for managing an army of mining monsters. Imagine a giant, digital puppet show where miners pull the strings, all neat and efficient, leaving behind less e-waste than a litter of discarded socks. Hurrah for saving the planet, one shiny chip at a time!

“Taker sell volume,” they call it, to make it sound scientific and not at all like a fire drill in a lemming parliament.

They promise 200 MW at Lake Mariner. Yes, MW, not milliwatts, lest your heart flutter. All for the holy grail of “liquid-cooled AI workloads”-the kind that leaves no carbon footprint, just a mountain of paperwork. Scale, density, dependability: the sacred trinity atop which the new prophets of silicon convene, swearing their allegiance to progress as the river outside grows ever quieter.

Bitcoin crashes faster than my grandma’s Wi-Fi – dropping below $118,000 after some hot US inflation tea ☕📉.

Meanwhile, Ethereum, that stubborn actor, woke up during the Asian matinée, hit a lofty $4,788, and then promptly decided to go all dramatic and plunge down to $4,500 after some sob story about U.S. PPI data. Now at $4,563, it’s basically the stock market’s equivalent of a mood swing-funds in a frenzy and charts screaming “make up your mind.”